Emotional well being doesn't effect cancer outcome....

[Mary Anne in TX]

Bunk.... I don't believe it! Everytime I've turned on my computer the last 4 days and MSN news (specifically cancer news) comes up, I have read the title of the article about research showing that emotional well-being not impacting cancer outcome. Are these guys totally nuts! Our emotional well-being gets us to fight or not fight, to go with the flow or trust our gut, to keep asking(demanding) for more options, and whatever else. I had read this all week long and just let it be until yesterday afternoon.
While my granddaughter was at a church thing, I ran into a clothing store to see if there was something she just couldn't do without. I didn't find much, but I did spend some "high quality waiting time at the register"! Trying to get checked out with a big stack of things was a couple (probably about my husband's and my age). They were being treated nicely, but their card just wasn't doing right. Finally the sales gal made a call to the head office and while they waited I asked rather meekly..."are you taking chemo"? (Her head was tied in a bandana, chemo style) She said, "I just finished. And I don't have much hair to amount to anything yet." I told her that mine had taken a while to take hold, but then it just took off and grew like crazy and filled in really well. She said she hoped she got curls. I told her they had been fun and was wondering how long I would get to keep them after so many years of my so straight hair.
I could just feel that more needed to be said; so I kept on a bit about her hair growing out and that it would be a great adventure, and then asked where she had had treatment. She told me (a great place) but that she was through with treatment (had just worn out with it) and was now in hospice care. She was buying clothes to travel to hawaii and other places to see her family. She would go in style. Her last treatment was 3 weeks ago and she was preparing for her trip. She said they couldn't do more for her and that she just didn't want anymore chemo. I gave her a big hug and watched as they left the store. I felt so many things! I felt honored to have met her. I recognized all the wonderful traits of a sister warrior. I felt the resolve of her decision. And I felt her pain. When she left, I could hardly move. My heart was breaking for her and so many others! I thanked God for CTRC where I go and the family of doctors and nurses that cares for me there. They make us feel so special.
And then I saw that stupid story again today! Emotional well-being not effecting the outcome for cancer patients. One of the first times that I asked for advice and help on this site, I was answered by Sandy! No mencing words from Sandy. I felt like I had been lectured and kicked in the pants....in a good way! I felt a bit pitiful for a small time and then realized the blessing of the strong-willed, determined, out-spoken women on this site. I remember the change in my "emotional well-being" after the kick in the pants by Sandy (God bless her precious soul) and the choices I made because of it!
I think they ought to gather up some warriors once a year and let them educate the professionals who are willing to listen and learn from those who live the battle day to day!
Well, I'll stop my tirad now. I probably put this in the wrong place. I worry about everything. Someone will fix it, if so.
I think you guys are great! Keep up those attitudes. They are the bestest medicine of all! mary anne

[Becky]

Dear Mary Anne

Unfortunately, when I was first diagnosed and as positive as I ever was, there was a very similar study published. I figured, how can that be - a happier and more positive outlook must be good for the immune system (and I just can't believe it isn't). None-the-less, even if there is no benefit to survival, there is a huge benefit to the quality of life. I know many women (some 14 or 20 yr disease free survivors) who are still just waiting for their cancer to come back!!! Really! What kind of life do they have? It can't be fun or fun for their families either. Whether I have one day or another 40 years, I want to be remembered as being me and not being like I should have died cuz that's how I always acted. So, I think attitude and emotional well being is good for quality of life and good for the quality of life for those you love. And that's almost more important.

[Lolly]

Amen! My sister has a "pat" saying for those who ask her how I'm doing but obviously worried and scared for me and almost afraid to ask: "She's LIVING with cancer!"
I love her for that, and that's exactly how it is, living with cancer until my time comes, which is all any of us can do, cancer or no cancer.

<3 Lolly

[Mary Jo]

I, too, believe attitude plays a huge roll in these our cancer journey's. I am not a big believer in the attitude playing a big part in what is meant to be BUT I am a HUGE believer in how attitude affects the quality of our lives. Most definitely. I believe our "day" is already determined so fretting over the "what ifs" in life is a huge waste of time (and I've wasted plenty of them ) BUT my attitude (mostly good) and what I believe makes my days living here on earth happy and peaceful MOST of the time.

I try to grab hold of this philosphy.......................................gr ab a hold, hold on tight and enjoy the hell out of life. Serve and love others as that brings you the absolute MOST joy and peace. I remind myself daily that God loves us incredibly
~ he feels our pains ~ and is holding us close as we walk with Him and one day He will be bringing me Home to Himself and eternal peace and joy will never leave. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!

Attitude is everything
Psalm 139:16
Mary Jo

[dlaxague]

Marejo, I do not share your particular faith, but I LOVE your advice - GRAB HOLD! ENJOY! LOVE! We cannot do better than that.

As for attitude affecting cancer outcome, Molly Ivins said it simply and strongly, which I understand was her style for life in general:

"Another thing you get as a cancer patient is a lot of football-coach patter. "You can beat this; you can win; you're strong; you're tough; get psyched." I suspect that cancer doesn't give a rat's ass whether you have a positive mental attitude. It just sits in there multiplying away, whether you are admirably stoic or weeping and wailing. The only reason to have a positive mental attitude is that it makes life better. It doesn't cure cancer."

Debbie Laxague

[Jean]

Attitude is vital to our exsistance, even if we do not have a dx. of cancer.
The human spirit is a wonderous mystery. Some people will thrive while
enduring adversity...and then there are others who are upset when they
break a nail and the rest of their day is ruined.

My dear sisters let's never forget the determination of the turtle who out ran the rabbit! Now that turtle had some attitude! He never gave up as that darn rabbit ran past him.

I love you all,
Jean

[harrie]

For me attitude was the number one most important factor in the management of my treatment and quality of life during and after. To me everything falls into place with the right attitude. The psychological and physiological connection is inseparable.
Maryanne

[hutchibk]

I agree, BUNK! I think it depends on what you consider "outcome"... I don't consider "outcome" to be merely life or death, which I believe these goofy reports are trying to suggest. To me, our cancer "outcome" boils down to how we survive and thrive while living with cancer or post cancer, and you better believe that emotional well-being/attitude is one of the biggest parts of that equation! Of course it affects the outcome. My emotional well-being has contributed in immeasurable ways to me still thriving today. Without emotional well-being, I could have easily given up after recurrence #1 or recurrence #2 or recurrence #3, but I didn't and I won't and therefore, my "outcome" has so far been positively effected... what a dumb theory.

[Mary Jo]

Amen to that sister.