courtney is starting hospice

[v-ness]

although i suspected this day was not far off, it is still crushing to know it is here. this is my second friend in 2 months. here is the message from Jay in her journal (and i am so grateful he keeps us so informed):

A masterful storyteller

A note from Jay:
Courtney has become a masterful story teller - and, the past few days has been the story of her life. Whether its from exhaustion, pain medication, symptoms from active treatment, neurological disease, or unknown reasons, Courtney has been in a confused yet peaceful dream-like state for the past few days. The threads from our lives are connecting, and are full of beautiful, random, and interleaved stories.
They say that in a near-death experience, your life flashes before your eyes. I have to believe that with this many amazing friends and life experiences, Courtney's "flash" is more like a major film festival.
She'll talk for minutes on end with incredible detail and clarity - the places are all real and selected from a world of travels, and the people are from dreams, past life regressions, her family, my family, and dear friends from each of our lives' intersecting circles from childhood, UC Davis, Jones Gulch, Costa Rica, Tulane Law, Gordon & Rees, Edgcomb Law, the extended-Cornell bay area family, and BAYS/METS/HER2 support groups. There are many special guest stars that Courtney describes who I've only heard about via their first names. Probably many more references when I'm not around.
There are many laugh out loud moments, witty comments, and acknowledgments that she knows what's going on - and is OK. During dinner with me and her mom on Mon eve, Courtney got a jolt of intense mental clarity and said: "God told me that he's been sending wave after wave crashing into me on my journey. But it's only because I can handle it, and he said its going to be smoother now."
It is OK.
The best care for Courtney going forward is hospice - the decision was made this morning by Courtney, Jay, her family, and her amazing doctors and nurses. If you are unfamiliar with "hospice", let me explain. Practically speaking, not much changes with our day to day - we will get a few additional nursing resources, additional caregiver resources, and we will continue to relax, reminisce, nap, listen to music (we fine-tuned some Pandora stations with Jack Johnson, post-bop jazz piano trios, and assorted acoustic/unplugged tracks), watch Netflix on the iPad, look at pictures, read CaringBridge guestbook entries / postcards / letters, and visit with close friends and family at our beautiful home. The biggest difference between active treatment and hospice is that the primary focus of medical care will be to help Courtney remain at peace, comfort, and enjoy her remaining time, whether its days, weeks, or whatever time God brings us.
Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers, and letting us share this experience with you.