not good news

[Pam P]

My oncologist just called me at home. As soon as I heard his voice I knew it wasn't good. My ca2729 that I had drawn earlier this week is now up to 2323. That's over a 500 point jump from last month. It's been climbing steadily since last summer and nothing has been able to slow it down.

He said he is going to add xeloda to my treatment and wanted to get that prescription called in right away. So I'll be on herceptin, tykerb, aromasin, zometa and now xeloda.

I was on xeloda in the past - for over 3 years and did really well on it as far as it keeping the cancer stable for that long. However, the chemos I've repeated so far have not worked so I'm afraid that xeloda won't be effective for me either the 2nd time around.

When I was xeloda before I felt very well physically, but I have severe and constant trouble with hand/feet syndrome - burning, splitting, cracking, bleeding. I don't look forward to that, but am obviously willing to deal with it as long as it will push back the cancer.

I'm feeling kind of numb right now at the news kn owing that I have to shift again and that the cancer is running uncontrolled. I feel like I'm in a real downward trend here. I hate the disease, the terror it causes and the loss of so many lives cut short by this devil.