I have had it - if you ask...!!

[norwegian]

It is now about two years since I was diagnosed, and I guess I'm supposed to be happy it is all over... But my feelings are mixed. I do not have any treatment now,- I'm NED as you call it. ... I hope I am anyway.... who knows ?... not my doctor, nor my onc. As far as I can see - they guess, qualified guesses, but still. In Norway we don't have the possibility of a Pet scan - this is only offered to those with tumors they can't really find and to those with many tumors.
I am cancer free they tell me, and I know I should be pleased. I guess I suffer from what Colleens husband call the blues or something like that.

Ok, what I really wanted to complain about today is all the pain that I have...
My back hurts a lot. I have had scintigrafi which we call it (- same word in english?) - last time in august. All NED,- but painful, or tired in a way.
My joints hurts, specially my feet in the mornings. My arm....big, weak, swollen and painful. Cant sleep on my right side,- because of that. Neither can I sleep on my left side - due to my hip, - inflammation because I have had to sleep only on my left side for two years, because of my arm - and so on - and so on.... I cannot sleep on my back, - because then it hurts after a while. And not on my stomac - beacuse my back hurts and my breast is not there anymore....
So I need sleeping pills... But I can't go on like this!!

and then there is my port, taken away in June. Still the scar is not healed - I need to cover it with plaster...Its sore...

Help, help...