Big Decisions

[kymelody]

Beginning in October, I had surgical biopsy to remove a 5 cm tumor from my right breast. I had lumpectomy with 13+ of 26 lymph nodes removed in November. Two weeks later I had additional tissue removed, which still did not produce clean margins. Team of doctors did not want to delay chemo, so I had four dose dense AC treatments, and am now 6 weeks into my 12 weeks of Taxol/Herceptin. I will continue Herceptin for one year. I will also have radiation for 5-6 weeks following my decision on additional surgery, since I did have positive nodes.
I will meet with a plastic surgeon and my breast surgeon on the day of my last treatment to discuss mastectomy. I will be 35 yrs old this year and just have so many questions about my options. I just cannot wrap my mind around losing my breast vs losing my life. I'm only a size 36B - even if they take alot more tissue and it leaves bad cosmetic results, what is more cosmetically bad than a mastectomy ? I have researched reconstruction - I would only be candidate for implants.
My surgeon stated at one time that "We like to do breast conservation as much as possible, because if it does reoccur, its easier to detect". I have not actually talked with her since my lumpectomy, so I am anxious to discuss all options withher, however, I won't have alot of time to make my ultimate decision. If it is surgery, I will have only two weeks. I am just trying to get a jump start. Any comments/thoughts would be greatly appreciated.