Discrimination in the Workplace?

LovingDaughter · 05-19-2006, 09:20 PM

My mother was diagnosed in March, 2006 with Stage II Her-2 positive breast cancer. Initially, because she felt so close to her co-workers, she believed that the people with whom she works would be a tremendous support. Unfortunately, that hasn't been the case. She had to miss three weeks of work after surgery because of an infection and missed two days after her first chemo treatment (AC). Her boss has threatened to terminate her pay (despite the fact that she hasn't exceeded her vacation) and benefits and he, along with her co-workers have, at least to me, created a relatively hostile work environment. He has also (unlawfully in the U.S. I believe) inquired about her prognosis and the details of her diagnosis.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? If so, how did you cope? Did you take legal action?

Additionally, could others with Stage IIB comment on what their doctors told them in terms of their prognosis? My mom's oncologist said that her prognosis is good because of Herceptin, but I want to confirm that other oncologists have said the same.

I am 25, fresh out of law school, and have found myself, instead of chasing the legal career I always dreamed of, chasing a cure for my mother and others like her. I would do anything to help my mother through this ordeal. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.

al from Canada · 05-19-2006, 09:38 PM

We are NOT going to change the minds of the coworkers. Kinda has learned from a very painful experience that cancer = social isolation You must also know that in any legal action, only the lawyers win.

What I would do is put all that confusing social crap behind you and lets find a tx plan and a cure for your mom!! Then when your mom has gone NED, mobilize with her and take these idiots to task. But still, do it at an arms length....meaning if you want use to start a letter campain...I'm up for it and there is propably a line of 86 women waiting not so patient behind me. Do let a red-herring issue effect your recovery or general health. You will have enough stress to deal with without it, believe me.

Anything I can do to help,
Al

LovingDaughter · 05-19-2006, 09:43 PM

I sincerely appreciate your comments, Al. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your wife, Linda. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

I agree with your overall assessment. Life changes so drastically after the initial diagnosis, and it is difficult sometimes to take it all in and to know what to focus on first.

Any comments on AC-->T+H dose dense chemo?

al from Canada · 05-19-2006, 09:50 PM

It is still the industry standard provided you are NOT TOPO II +, then you may run into cardio problems. As well, if she is ER+ then you would want to add an hormonal inhibitor with the herceptin.

Al

Joe · 05-20-2006, 03:46 AM

You may wish to contact the following for advice: http://www.lls.edu/academics/candp/clrc.html

Regards
Joe

Tessa · 05-20-2006, 07:18 AM

Dear Diane's daughter,

I find the behavior of your mother's boss and colleagues utterly outrageous, spectacularly insensitive, and probably illegal, but want to respond specifically to your other question. I was diagnosed at Stage II with a small tumor, 16 affected nodes and no metastases. I was also Her2 +++ and estrogen/progesterone negative. Although the doctor (here in Europe) offered zero comments on the prognosis front, it has been almost four years now and with Taxotere and Epirubicin 6 times each, radiation and then a year of Herceptin, I am, so far - knock on wood, cross all fingers and thank goodness - fine. I was 52 when this all started, so frankly I think your mother should assume that her prognosis is excellent

LovingDaughter · 05-20-2006, 06:59 PM

Thank you all for responding to my inquiries. Tessa--your story sure gives me a lot of hope. I wish you all the best and am so happy that you have had such wonderful results!

Joe--I did not know that Loyola had such a program, but I do have friends that graduated from this law school. I will try to reach out to them.

If anyone is willing to write a letter, let me know.

Kind regards,
Jayne

MCS · 05-19-2006, 09:47 PM

OH no no. this is definitely wrong.

First of all the privacy laws in the work place, which covers cancer.

I did not tell anyone except the vp ( i had a high impact job and was leaving for a few weeks to do this) and hr folks. I eventually was laid off during my illness but there was a lot of political junk going before then.

there's also family law act. it allows you to have 12 weeks of leave and you don't lose your job. In ca, the short term disability covers you during the 12 week of family leave, it can also be combined with accummulated vacation or pto. if you also sign for a short term disability thru insurance at job, this can also kick in during this time. combination of vacation pay, state diability and any short term diability from your carrier at work.

if there's a human resources department, talk to them about your rights.

Take a look at your benefits and also call your state disability office.

i am not a lawyer, just painfully going thru this

XO

MCS ( maria)

lu ann · 05-28-2006, 12:26 AM

Dear Loving Daughter, Where in Cleveland do you live? I live in Streetsboro which is south east of Cleveland. What hospital does your mother get treatment. I'm at University Hospital and am quite pleased with the care I receive. My husband filed paper work with the Family Medical leave so he can attend my doctor appts. with me. You might want to fill out the forms yourself just incase you need to go with your Mom. Take care and God Bless. Lu Ann

LovingDaughter · 05-28-2006, 02:07 PM

Lu Ann--

We are almost neighbors! I live in Twinsburg, and my mom is receiving her treatment at Hillcrest Hospital, a division of Cleveland Clinic Health System. What led you to UH? I am glad that you are receiving such good care.

Sue2001 · 05-28-2006, 07:54 PM

I don't have any new information for you but just wanted to respond. Whenever I hear this type of story it makes me so sad. I am so sorry that your mother has to put up with the poor behavior of her boss and coworkers. It's the last thing she needs right now. I found that there were some people I expected to be there for me and they weren't, but there were others I never expected to be there who did so much for me. I guess a person's true character comes through during a difficult time.

Maybe your mother's co-workers are reacting poorly but her daughter has come through with flying colors!! She is so lucky to have you. Hang in there, Sue

LovingDaughter · 05-28-2006, 08:09 PM

Thank you so much for your kind words, Sue. They bring tears to my eyes. I would do just about anything to get my mom through this difficult time.

Like you said, though there are people that we expected would be there for us who aren't, there have been many who have come out of the woodwork to be of support. For example, a woman my mom knew only over the phone through work who also had breast cancer has become an additional member of my family. She came to my mom's surgery, has bought meals for us, comes to my mom's chemo treatments, and sends her cards regularly. My new neighbors cooked for us last night! And, my wonderful boyfriend acts as though his own mom is going through this--he cooks for us, cleans for us, is happy when we get good news and cries with us when we cry.

Unfortunately, when people genuinely hurt her feelings, it seems to overshadow all of the good things people do for us. Thanks for pointing that out!

lu ann · 05-28-2006, 09:00 PM

Loving Daughter, What is your first name? Yes we are neighbors. My e-mail address is ludysmith@yahoo.com. I can send you my phone number if you would like to speak over the phone.

I was origionally diagnosed 09/26/91 with stage 1. I had mod. rad. mast. with tram flap recon., 6 months of cytoxin, methotrexate, and 5fu. I had my treatment at Robinson Memorial Hospital.

I was dx. with bone mets 02/06/04. I went back to my oncologist at Akron General She no longer practiced at Robinson. I was not satisfied with her bedside manner so I went to Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Zion, Illionois for a second opinion. I ended up staying for 6 weeks to get rad. treatment and a biopsy of 2 very large masses in my other breast which turned out to be benign cysts.

They wanted to do chemo treatment, but I did not want to make the plane trip every 3 weeks so I came home and had treatment with Dr. Marquinez of Mubishar/Marquinez Inc. They are the only oncologist practice in Portage County.

I had good results with him but decided to go to a teaching hospital where I could get cutting edge clinical trials. Dr. Paula Silverman is my Doctor and she is great.

You are a wonderfull daughter to take the time to figure out what is best for your Mom.

God Bless You
Lu Ann

Vi Schorpp · 05-30-2006, 08:46 AM

Loving Daughter and Lu Ann:

Hi, I am also a neighbor as I live in Walton Hills (10 minutes from Twinsburg and 30 minutes (at most) from Streetsboro). I am Stage 2A and am under Dr. Bachar Dergham's care at the Cleveland Clinic. I see that Lu Ann is a patient of Paula Silverman who has an excellent reputation here in our area. If either of you are interested in meeting one of these days, please let me know and we can arrange that. Maybe we could meet at The Cracker Barrel in Streetsboro...not that far away.

Take care.

Berta · 05-30-2006, 05:58 PM

I have just learned that the Livestrong organization has a program called LegalHealth that provides legal counsel for Cancer Survivors. Maybe they can help. BERTA

LovingDaughter · 05-30-2006, 07:10 PM

I would love to meet you! I live just down the road from the Cracker Barrel. Were you referred to Dr. Degham? My mom's oncologist is Dr. Dickman at Hillcrest. We are very happy with the care he gives my mother.

Thank you so much for responding to my post! I hope that you are doing well and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

lu ann · 05-31-2006, 07:23 AM

Are you familiar with the Gathering Place located in Beachwood? This place is for anyone touched by cancer. It is funded by donations and all services are free. They have all types of programs available from art to yoga. There is another lady on board here that lives in the Cleveland area, named Audrey. I havn't met her in person yet but I bet she would also like to get together for lunch. My e-mail adress is ludysmith@yahoo.com.

Loving Daughter, I see that you are disappointed with the way some people have been treating you and your mom. I had the same experience years ago when my mom was dieing from cancer. She had a best friend who just lived across the street from her who never once came to see her. I was very angry at the time, but learned that some people just can't bring themselves to go to that place that makes them feel so vulnerable and helpless about death and dieing. I have found that to be true in part with some of my old friends. But, I have been embraced by most of the people who I call friends now. Some of them have even called me a roll model and have learned more about living with trials through seeing me live my life to the fullest that I can.

Just hang in there. I would gladly talk with you and your mom. There are also support group meetings at the Gathering Place for you to attend. My sister attended and it helped her through this with me.

Love and Blessings from Lu Ann

Vi Schorpp · 05-31-2006, 10:08 AM

Loving Daughter

Just a thought...when I had my AC treatments I had them on Friday afternoons. That allowed me to work half a day then leave for the afternoon. I had Saturday and Sunday to "recoup," but I remember taking an extra day after my last treatment. Maybe this schedule could help your mother.