Just in complete shock........

[Joannie]

Hi All:
I feel like I just need to post to get this off my chest. My husband was admitted to the hospital this week for diverticulitis. He is all good and well now. When I drove the car up to pick him up at the hospital, he overhead a man telling someone that his wife's doctor had just passed away and he said her name was Dr. Lee. Dr. Lee is my onc. My husband got in the car and said "I can't believe what I just heard." He immediately called her office and they confirmed that she passed away on Dec 10. I was in complete shock and could barely drive my car home. I googled her name when I got home and sure enough, I found her obituary. She passed away after a "long" battle with breast cancer! When I went in for my 6 month check up in Aug. I noticed that she appeared to have a wig on. It felt odd to say anything and she didn't offer any information. My previous visit was in Feb and at that time she said she had just returned from being out for quite some time. She had a hysterectomy and had complications with infection. She said she had lost 30 lbs and had been hospitalized for 2 weeks.

After I saw her in the wig, I guess I just justified to myself that she could have lost her hair for other reasons other than chemo. How could I have not tuned in to what she had going on. I am much more perceptive than that and I am so angry at myself for not saying something to her.

I confided in her so many times and you feel like your onc. knows your most personal feelings and fears. She helped to save my life and the very thing she saved my life from, took hers.

I am in just complete shock and I can't seem to stop crying. She was 54 years old. She dedicated her entire life to helping people with cancer. She gave those hope that thought there was no hope at all. I am certain that she sacraficed many things to help those in need. It was her calling and her passion.

I wish I would have known. I wish I could have helped.
Joannie