Is Nervous

[Mary Jo]

Ok - needing some positive encouragement here. I'm still battling with the left upper side ache. Near lower rib. The ache is that general area off to the side and goes a little way around to the back. Now it's been going down the left side also. I've mentioned it to my onc. for well over a year (I've mentioned this before in here and it started during chemo in Oct. of 05) After she examines me she always say "you are perfect." At my last onc. visit she said it sounds like bowel/colon trouble to her. Well, it is definitely NOT going away and it is driving me crazy so it's time to get to the bottom of it. I FINALLY called my onc. nurse for direction as to what to do. I'm hoping my onc. will order some tests - possible a CT of the ab. and/or colonoscopy and I won't have to go see someone else. I have had looser stools also and notice I am gassy ie burping and other end often. If only this constant ache wouldn't be their.

Sooooooooooo now I wait for her to call me and I'm ALREADY DREADING it all. I just don't want to go back. I don't want to have tests. Tests bring back BAD memories as I know you all understand. Back in the day when I wasn't afraid of tests I always thought - oh, I"ll be fine - but after hearing the "C" word I think we all know anything is possible now. Hence, the nervousness. My onc. continues to remind me that things will happen and it isn't always cancer. I know she's right and in all honestly I don't believe this is either BUT there is that other part of me that thinks it's everywhere and I'll be dead in a year. You all know the feeling! The one positive is that I had PET/CT scan Dec. 27, 2006 and it was fine BUT from what I understand those aren't always accurate either. So.........................................just wanted to vent to those who understand the best. Thanks for "listening" with your eyes.

Hugs and Blessings to all,

Mary Jo