[IrvineFriend]

Hi all,

I'm now fully engaged in this BC deal and doing well. It's been a 1.5 months post-bilateral, still waiting to start chemo and for my last drain to be removed (to start chemo) as I'm a heavy fluid producer and now that I'm out and about, walking, hiking, working full-time and doing well until chemo starts, simple stupid basic everyday life questions are arising:

1) Because of my breast pain and still having the drain, I'm wearing a front opening post-mastectomy bra for ease and comfort (the girdle bra keeps anything from "moving" around and causing any discomfort). When does one start wearing a "regular" bra during expansion? I'm definitely an "A" right now but expect to be a "B" within a month. Should I just buy regular bras if/when the pain is gone since I'm not uncomfortable w/o any prothetics? So can I go to any store?

2) How often/quantity were you being expanded? My sister was expanded with 100 cc every 3-weeks. I'm being expanded 60 cc every week. My pain level has decreased (so maybe the wrinkle is being expanded) so I'm OK with it. How can an "A" cup feel like bowling balls? That's a separate question which I don't expect answers to.

3) My oncologist said since I'm stage III, unless I don't have symptoms, there will not be any ongoing/periodic PET/CT scans. I had a total of 15.6 cm of cancer in my breast and 4 nodes had macrometastasis. Seems like this is pretty high risk and I'm not confident, especially with the delay in chemo/treatment, I'm never going to have to deal with this again. Those with Stage III, did you ever have a PET/CT scan w/o symptoms? Seems this cancer loves to overstay it's welcome and I'm not willing to have this unwelcome visitor in my home/body. Seems common once you've gone to stage IV but I want to know when it's earlier like stage IIIa.

4) I come from a long line of BC and have seen their "jobs". I didn't like my sisters because they seem "off to the side". I'm noticing that as I'm being inflated, I have a lot of "breast" close to and slightly under my armpits and not much in the middle for cleavage like my sisters. Has this been your experience? Will the real implants look differently? My docs will tell me one thing, I want to know real experience.

5) My boyfriend is awesome and so supportive. How has your partner found support? I know he feels "lost".

6) I told myself I would never let him see me until reconstruction was done. Unfortunately I had a situation where I needed immediate help (I thought I pulled a drain tube out and did) and he had a full frontal view. He now wants to take a photo chronology of my growth. I know this is so individual, but do you ever feel totally comfortable? PM me if you don't want to post as this is so personal. BTW, the relationship started as a friendship that turned when I was diagnosed and he disclosed his true feelings and his commitment to supporting me. How great, my best friend becoming my Significant Other. Another little gift of this disease.

7) I work in a smaller company but at a high level and so many of the younger woman openly ask me questions about everything. I mean everything. I feel my relaying my experience is expanding awareness and I answer all their questions w/o reservation. But I also feel comfortable that my job is secure. I'll be wearing scarves soon hopefully and I can continue being comfortable with this phase of my life. I guess this isn't a question. I just wanted to relay that being open about my cancer and it's affect (like being an "A" and feeling like I have a bowling ball on my chest) will encourage all woman to support breast cancer. They don't know what it's like and really want to know and to help. I hope we can all talk openly to our younger generation about this so it's not so scary. Even some of the scientist men ask me about my recovery and I feel that sharing does nothing but increase awareness.

8) I'm in So. CA and would love to do any/all of the BC walks/runs. If anyone has actually read through ALL this and is in the area, I'd love to meet and do the events together. They are typically in Nov. the month before BC awareness month. I should be through chemo by then!

Thank you for this site and I will be sending our founder a card in the next couple days. It truly has kept me from going crazy.