HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - Haven't been on this board for nearly 3 years

KirisMum · 03-28-2013, 08:01 PM

Kiri called me tonight at work. She had just got out of her MRI. She was straight up, laid down the law for me, didn't let me speak. Mindful of my need to let her take control, I stayed quiet and listened. She basically said, "Mom, I have metastatic cancer. It's in my bones, my liver and my lungs. There is no cure for this. I'll be on chemo for the rest of my life and it won't be that long. It's going to kill me. Dr. L's nurse (Dr. L is traveling and won't be back till next week) said that the longest they've had someone on this protocol survive is 10 years. We're meeting with Dr. L next Thursday and I suggest you guys be up here." That was it, in a nutshell.

I stayed calm and didn't freak out. Now I understand the gravity of the situation, but I wanted to tell her I thought things were more complex than she was laying out, given the advances in stage iv bc treatment over the past couple of years. But I know she must have been partially in shock, even though we were expecting it would turn out to be mets. They haven't done the biopsies, but apparently everything fits the mets category. Anyway, after she hung up I sent her a text saying that we were behind her 500% in whatever she needed or wanted, but that she should plan to live with whatever time was gifted to her. Live to the utmost. Don't plan to die.

She doesn't go on the boards and she doesn't do research. She leaves that to her medical team, whom she trusts absolutely, and I think with good reason. I'm interested to hear what her onc has to say, but I have to be careful the way I word my questions so that I don't make K look wrong.

What are your thoughts about any of this, dear ladies?

03-28-2013, 08:01 PM	#12
KirisMum Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 186	Re: Haven't been on this board for nearly 3 years Kiri called me tonight at work. She had just got out of her MRI. She was straight up, laid down the law for me, didn't let me speak. Mindful of my need to let her take control, I stayed quiet and listened. She basically said, "Mom, I have metastatic cancer. It's in my bones, my liver and my lungs. There is no cure for this. I'll be on chemo for the rest of my life and it won't be that long. It's going to kill me. Dr. L's nurse (Dr. L is traveling and won't be back till next week) said that the longest they've had someone on this protocol survive is 10 years. We're meeting with Dr. L next Thursday and I suggest you guys be up here." That was it, in a nutshell. I stayed calm and didn't freak out. Now I understand the gravity of the situation, but I wanted to tell her I thought things were more complex than she was laying out, given the advances in stage iv bc treatment over the past couple of years. But I know she must have been partially in shock, even though we were expecting it would turn out to be mets. They haven't done the biopsies, but apparently everything fits the mets category. Anyway, after she hung up I sent her a text saying that we were behind her 500% in whatever she needed or wanted, but that she should plan to live with whatever time was gifted to her. Live to the utmost. Don't plan to die. She doesn't go on the boards and she doesn't do research. She leaves that to her medical team, whom she trusts absolutely, and I think with good reason. I'm interested to hear what her onc has to say, but I have to be careful the way I word my questions so that I don't make K look wrong. What are your thoughts about any of this, dear ladies?