[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Hi Leslie, It is most impressive to find a woman with a biologist's mind (and degrees to prove it) who is into quantim physics (on any level) and has such a spiritual outlook! It is a joy to meet you! You speak of awe. Einstein said that "what is so incomprehnsible about the Universe is that it is so incomprehensible" , so incredibly and precisely designed. He believed their had to be an Intelligence at work.

The NY onc/hematol/nutritional expert I have been blessed to come to know (wrote HEALING ESSENCE -- Dr. Mitchell Gaynor) believes in a holistic approach. He has classes teaching meditation and guided imagery. He's quite zen, for an all American boy. Kodansha America, Inc. publishing in Ny, NY. Most worthy of your attention. I found his bk life-altering! Also, just must add FIGHTING CANCER by Richard Bloch (of H & R Bloch) is FREE for a phone call -- 1 - 800 - 433 - 0464 -- chronicling his story of lung ca, 3 mnths to live. 20 odd yrs later he was still alive, using highly aggressive chemo he asked for, visualization, positive thinking and love for his wife Annette. It is
quite compelling.

If I were on the Titanic as it was sinking w/no life boats around, I suspect I'd feel much like a 4th stage ILC patient w/2 nodes involved. Thinking happy thoughts would be most inappropriate. I would call upon the Universe, seeking to draw strength and miracles to sustain me. The heroine of the movie had the love the the young man and an unhinged door that came floating by to save her. I watched a woman being interviewed on HBO. She was Russian, a SURVIVOR after terrorists attacked a theater in that country yrs ago. The authorities pumped a gas into the theater, after a long stand off and many threats, all inside succumbed, passing out, vomiting, some choking to death on their own vomit. This woman was one of a handful who survived. (The police had not thought their plan out, and did not have the remedy handy for the captives.) WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED THAT YOU ARE STILL ALIVE??? She looked away from the interviewer, her eyes darting about as she investigated her thoughts. In a heavy Russian accent, she proclaimed, with much passion -- I COMMANDED my body to survive!!!! I had goose bumps. And I never forgot it. So when I was dx I too commanded my body to survive, with absolute impassioned determination and conviction.

After the horrific tsunami a few yrs ago, I watched a model who was vacationing there and had survived. This was some 9 mnths later. Her companion perished. She clung to a tree for 9 hrs as I recall, w/what turned out to be a brkn pelvis, ribs and such from the heavy debris crashing over her again and again. 9 hrs of refusing to let go. She was not thinking happy thoughts, for sure. She was drawing upon the energy of the Universe to enable her to withstand the unthinkable onslaught. Her will was strong, bolstered by her spiritual connection.

Leslie -- your painting is remarkable. Beautiful. Inspiring. I will carry the image with me always. As the sun dies in flames each day as it sets in a magnificent display of artistry and emerges again w/ea morning. The phoenix rises from the fire and ashes and has a spiritual rebirth, renewed and reinvigorated. That is what I wish for ev Warrior Woman among these posts. May we ea find the fortitude to withstand the 9 hrs of our clinging to a tree midst the Chaos of Life, and to emerge stronger, wiser, braver and forever changed in marvelous ways. With my loving wishes... ANDI