[v-ness]

"Just wanted to respond to your comment that you had been very well, no flu or colds for a long time before you got breast cancer. This was exactly the same for myself. Interestingly at my last onc appointment a research nurse told me that some cancer researchers think that as the immune system has not been 'triggered' for a long time it in some way loses it's ability to detect and destroy rogue cells and cancer develops.
Makes you think."

hi ellie- maybe so. i am beginning to seriously think that a major amount of loss, grief and stress has played a large hand in why i got breast cancer. it began on february 1, 2006 when my mother found my father dead in the garage from a stroke. then my husband was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in early november 2006 and died only 10 weeks later. only 6 months later my 10 yr old bunny petunia died of - get this - metastatic breast cancer. 3 years earlier the vet removed her mammary tumor and told me she had "3 months to live" and my little energizer bunny sure proved him wrong. then my most beloved cat mattie who i'd had for 13 years died rather suddenly from serious lung issues in june 2008. in november 2008 my favorite cat, dribbles, at the animal sanctuary i volunteer at twice a year died (he was lifetime care because he was incontinent) and i was the one who found him the morning he became deathly ill. in april 2009 my 18 yr old cat mikey died of old age related issues (hyper-thyroidism, hypertension and chronic kidney failure), and in july 2009 my cat squeaky died of jaw cancer only 2 weeks after diagnosis. obviously, by the time squeaky died i already had the cancer growing (there was no tumor in my march 2009 mammogram). in addition to all of this, my mother is chronically ill and requiring a lot of attention since my father died, which has caused me a huge amount of stress. i see a psych, and have for years, but i think all of this was too much for my system. i am currently reading a chapter on exactly this subject in dr. bernie siegel's book "love, medicine, & miracles". naturally, i don't discount any other factors, but i will bet anything that this tidal wave of loss dealt me a blow my immune system could no longer take.

oddly enough, the first website i ever found on breast cancer was one about chinese medicine and i almost fell over when i read that they listed 'loss of a spouse' as a major cause of breast cancer.

i thought i was coping with my losses all this time, but maybe i was going about it the wrong way somehow. after all, i was constantly feeling under great stress. believe it or not, i have had LESS stress since i was diagnosed with breast cancer. my klonopin intake has dropped markedly and i feel more at peace with myself. i don't want to allow any more stress to harm me and somehow my way of thinking has changed all on its own, making me more serene. i know my imagery of lara croft tomb raider killing my cancer cells (see my post on the newcomer board) is hardly 'serene', but i think a warrior can be serene as well.

valerie