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v-ness · 01-20-2010, 07:42 PM

hi all-

thursday, 1/21, is my last chemo out of six (taxotere & carboplatin) and at the moment i am delighted! in the past couple weeks i have felt anxious, but at least as of tonight i feel like "bring it ON and git er done". i am so tired of eyes tearing so bad i look like tammy faye baker on a crying stint ( i refuse to stop wearing eyeliner and mascara, dammit!) tired of my dried up nose (which has improved, thank you to all those suggestions), the bad taste that makes everything taste like crap. the bloody hot flashes (do they end with chemo? i fear not....). no more all-too-frequent bloodwork and weekly needle sticks in my port (i've had herceptin weekly, now going to every 3 weeks). i want my hair, which stopped growing at a quarter inch at infusion #3, to grow again! i realize chemo is "the gift that keeps giving" and i could lose nails or the rest of my lashes and brows even after it is done.... but at least it will be done and they will have the chance to grow without being toxified. (i think i just made up a word

)

i've read "After Breast Cancer" by Musa Mayer and devoured newsletters from HERConnection and read the American Breast Cancer site and the pamphlets in the hospital. so i know my recent anxiety over chemo ending is NORMAL and that made me feel better. my onco's keeping an eye on me and my shrink's keeping an eye on me, and i am taking my anti-depressants like a good doobie. my fears are fueled by my husband's too-quick cancer death in 2007 so i have that to fight on top of our natural fears. this cancer lunacy has been like riding the Cyclone at Coney Island. i know when the ride stops it can play with your mind.

however, there's still radiation and herceptin until october so i've got more 'graduations' ahead of me. i am drinking massive amounts of water tonight (i believe it helps me in my easy-chemo-ride - i suffer very few side effects despite my whine above!). so i raise a glass of H20, cheers to the end of chemo for this girl!

hugs to all who've helped me through this even though you never knew it. i devoured all your words too and learned bravery.

valerie

01-20-2010, 07:42 PM	#1
v-ness Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western ma Posts: 280	last chemo tomorrow! hi all- thursday, 1/21, is my last chemo out of six (taxotere & carboplatin) and at the moment i am delighted! in the past couple weeks i have felt anxious, but at least as of tonight i feel like "bring it ON and git er done". i am so tired of eyes tearing so bad i look like tammy faye baker on a crying stint ( i refuse to stop wearing eyeliner and mascara, dammit!) tired of my dried up nose (which has improved, thank you to all those suggestions), the bad taste that makes everything taste like crap. the bloody hot flashes (do they end with chemo? i fear not....). no more all-too-frequent bloodwork and weekly needle sticks in my port (i've had herceptin weekly, now going to every 3 weeks). i want my hair, which stopped growing at a quarter inch at infusion #3, to grow again! i realize chemo is "the gift that keeps giving" and i could lose nails or the rest of my lashes and brows even after it is done.... but at least it will be done and they will have the chance to grow without being toxified. (i think i just made up a word ) i've read "After Breast Cancer" by Musa Mayer and devoured newsletters from HERConnection and read the American Breast Cancer site and the pamphlets in the hospital. so i know my recent anxiety over chemo ending is NORMAL and that made me feel better. my onco's keeping an eye on me and my shrink's keeping an eye on me, and i am taking my anti-depressants like a good doobie. my fears are fueled by my husband's too-quick cancer death in 2007 so i have that to fight on top of our natural fears. this cancer lunacy has been like riding the Cyclone at Coney Island. i know when the ride stops it can play with your mind. however, there's still radiation and herceptin until october so i've got more 'graduations' ahead of me. i am drinking massive amounts of water tonight (i believe it helps me in my easy-chemo-ride - i suffer very few side effects despite my whine above!). so i raise a glass of H20, cheers to the end of chemo for this girl! hugs to all who've helped me through this even though you never knew it. i devoured all your words too and learned bravery. valerie __________________ 8/09 - IDC 1.8 cm triple positive, lumpectomy left breast 10/09 began chemo (taxotere & carboplatin) and weekly herceptin. 1/21/10 finished chemo, continued on herceptin every 3 weeks until 10/2010. 2/10 began 7 wks of radiation 6/10 mom dies of primary peritoneal ovarian cancer 8/10 got my last remaining ovary out 10/10 mammogram all clear 3/11 MRI shows 5 'spots' in right breast, largest 1 cm unidentifiable on US needle biopsy proved the largest to be old inflamed cyst -phew! 7/10 switched to Arimidex 8/9 switched to Femara - allergic to arimidex Femara made me lose hair quickly so switched to Aromasin Aromasin made my hair fall out too and the bone pain was too much. back on Tamoxifen 1/2013. blood clot from trains and planes 5/2014 so on coumadin per onco for as long as i am on tamoxifen tamoxifen was supposed to be up with my 5 yrs in may but my boyfriend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer so i am staying on tamoxifen indefinitely because i want some ammo against BC, given the stress. lost my husband in only 10 wks in 2007 to stage 4 esophageal cancer. cancer's screwing with another man i love 2/2016 - 6yrs in remission, off tamoxifen and off coumadin - yay!