[Sheila]

Guess #60 was my magic number because when I went for my onc. visit yesterday, I learned that I am progressing on the Taxol, and showing signs of Toxicity...the shortness of breath after each treatment has gotten progressively worse, and my feet are making walking a chore from the neuropathy...then, the fact that my neck nodes have doubled in the past month...not good. So received my Herceptin, and am scheduled for all scans yet again before a new treatment plan is decided. Oh, and a visit to the throat Dr, due to continued hoarseness left over from when I had pneumonia...I went from having the sultry voice of a phone sex operator to the voice fo a person sucking on helium balloons!

I do feel let down, feel like I have lost my hair 3 times for nothing in the past 2 years, but then i think hey, I did get almost 2 years out of this drug! The Dr is hoping I can get into the T DM-1 phase III trial that will be starting, but I read previous Xeloda use will probably get me the boot!. I just keep telling myself when one door shuts, or slams in my face, another will open...

Guess I am overly emotional at this latest news, still coping with my Mom having a major stroke last week which has limited her speech and movement....I keep asking..Just How big of shoulders does the guy upstairs think we have anyway????

Tomorrow is a new day, and I have to refrain from thinking that things are growing while I wait for the after effects of the last chemo to leave my body so I can gain some strength, and a new plan can begin. Keep me in your prayers...I need your strength right now.