[Becky]

Dear Havah

Cry all you want to, scream and cry. It is scary and I know I would feel the same way you do. You have gotten good advice here on the board. Now you have to go and do the work of getting back to NED. I am not sure what drugs you have already been on or what supplements you do, exercise?

I will say that from the 3+ years I have been on this board, many of these women have also been here who have battled Stage 4 disease for a long,long time and I truly believe you can too. If they can do it, so can you. I know you can and you will. What is your oncologist doing for you? What chemo will you go on? How confident is your onc? If your onc isn't giving you confidence, change! You need someone who understands and accepts that his job is to get you back to NED and that he needs to do this and keep you well. It can be done. It is his job and if he is giving you vibes that he is not up to the task and that he will fail, he has a huge problem. You know it can be done because Andi, StephN, Irene, Flori and others have done it (sometimes more than once). You will too. Get other opinions. See what others have to say. Get that port put in and get going. You have work to do to get well and you have work to do after you do get well (or you wouldn't want to get well as much as you do).

Let us know all the doctors plans and let us know what you are planning to do when you are NED (vacation? party?). I like vacations best - you don't have to clean your house before or afterwards!