OK, 3rd try on responding here on my quirky laptop!
Sorry you are here, but glad you found us. This is a scary time I know, but you and your mom are not alone. There are many here who are doing well and will be with you, ready to offer whatever help they can give.
It would be helpful if you can find out and post some more of the details - this would help us better understand and offer feedback or suggestions. Or questions.
Based on what you posted, I have a few questions and comments anyway
1. Has your mom been to get a second opinion? Given the unusual nature of her situation, I'd want to have the best breast cancer minds on the case. You didn't say where you are located, but I would suggest getting an opinion from a breast cancer specialist at a major cancer center.
2. How do they know the cancer in the other breast is metastatic spread vs. a second cancer? It's unusual but does happen.
3. I'm wondering why, if there is no cancer anywhere but "breasts", it would be inoperable surgically? There is a growing body of evidence that even with metastatic disease, breast surgery may improve survival. I also would ask why no further scans would be done - you really do want to know what you're dealing with - cancer in the other breast is one thing, cancer in a vital organ is another. I believe you need to know what you're up against. Although your mom's oncologist is right - it may not make a difference in treatment choice at this time.
4. OK, maybe this should have been first...Your question about the Xeloda statistics and "what happens after 8 months?". All these stats are just statistics and do not necessarily reflect what will happen for any given individual.
The average given is the MEDIAN - meaning half are below and half are above that average. People who do not respond AT ALL may be included in the stat, as well as people who respond for years.
It always just depends on how the individual responds to a given treatment. So if your mom responds to Xeloda, it may work well and for a long time. If she does not respond, there are still other agents that could work well for her.
Do not lose heart.
Chris