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Mtngrl · 04-10-2012, 05:18 AM

Dear Emelie,

It was so brave of you to tell us this, and tell us your reasons. You must have known that there would be people who would try to talk you out of it.

Thank you for your generosity in creating a space for this conversation to take place. You didn't have to do that. I think it's a huge service to our community that you took the risk.

I support you in your quest for healing and wholeness. I know you are the only one who can say what that means for you.

Healing is not necessarily a matter of bodily "health." One of the affirmations I listen to says something like, "More and more, I realize that I can heal myself and live, or I can heal myself and die. My physical condition is not a factor in my wholeness." When I first heard that it was jarring. Then I sank into it and realized that my goal in life is not to avoid dying (which is, of course, impossible) but to live as fully and fiercely as possible, with as much joy and passion and peace (all three) as I can attain. From your post, it appears that's true for you too.

I hope this community can accept and affirm the rights of each person to decide her/his own course of treatment, and to decide when to stop fighting. I hope we're able to be supportive and loving in the ways we are being asked to do that, whether or not that would be "right" for us. It would be so sad to feel rejected for reaching out in this very personal way. I can't help but think that some of the push-back that you're getting is sadness for you, but that some is projection of personal fears.

There's nothing pathological about death and dying. We will all take that journey someday. There's something to be said for knowing it's coming. There's a lot to be said for having time to say goodbye, for having loving conversations with everyone who matters, and for deciding to live with as much joy and passion as possible. If we didn't have to confront death would be even value our lives?

Thank you again for your honesty and courage. I hope you do keep checking in with us and sharing your experiences.

Love,
Amy

04-10-2012, 05:18 AM	#20
Mtngrl Senior Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 1,427	Re: Pallative Care Dear Emelie, It was so brave of you to tell us this, and tell us your reasons. You must have known that there would be people who would try to talk you out of it. Thank you for your generosity in creating a space for this conversation to take place. You didn't have to do that. I think it's a huge service to our community that you took the risk. I support you in your quest for healing and wholeness. I know you are the only one who can say what that means for you. Healing is not necessarily a matter of bodily "health." One of the affirmations I listen to says something like, "More and more, I realize that I can heal myself and live, or I can heal myself and die. My physical condition is not a factor in my wholeness." When I first heard that it was jarring. Then I sank into it and realized that my goal in life is not to avoid dying (which is, of course, impossible) but to live as fully and fiercely as possible, with as much joy and passion and peace (all three) as I can attain. From your post, it appears that's true for you too. I hope this community can accept and affirm the rights of each person to decide her/his own course of treatment, and to decide when to stop fighting. I hope we're able to be supportive and loving in the ways we are being asked to do that, whether or not that would be "right" for us. It would be so sad to feel rejected for reaching out in this very personal way. I can't help but think that some of the push-back that you're getting is sadness for you, but that some is projection of personal fears. There's nothing pathological about death and dying. We will all take that journey someday. There's something to be said for knowing it's coming. There's a lot to be said for having time to say goodbye, for having loving conversations with everyone who matters, and for deciding to live with as much joy and passion as possible. If we didn't have to confront death would be even value our lives? Thank you again for your honesty and courage. I hope you do keep checking in with us and sharing your experiences. Love, Amy