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Hey Michele,
You're right! Cancer puts a whole new spin on the word, "courage"! And, I agree with your definition: "forced courage". Just as the guys on this board have been forced into a courage not of their chosing. Eric, Jeff, Bruce, Joe, Sean, Frank just to mention a few. All the guys here know about the whole new meaning to the word courage. How many times have I said tp Linda that "if I could trade places with you I would"? For me, it would take less courage having cancer than being the one watching. There is always the temptation to get bitter and twisted because "how could this happen to us" or "she did so not deserve this" or "why couldn't this have happened to......." We didn't ask for this but here we are. So the question remains: courage forced or otherwise, what has it done to us and for us?
I can only speak for myself and I but:
- every morning Linda and I wake up we are so greatful we met
- we feel totally in control of our lives because we have an appreciation for living
- the meaning of "Love" has only become clearer
- people comment on Linda's strength and courage because they can't imagine being with cancer, stage 4 and talking about the future, kids, grandkids, next christmas, our 5 year plan; all those people can't be wrong
One thing where we disagree with you Michele, is your notion of who's in control.
We may think others have a totally distorted view of us and ramming a "forced courage" notion down our throats but they don't.
There is an inner strength that comes with understanding your own mortality that only comes when you are faced with death. People don't have the courage to even think about death, let along live with its shadow (cancer) day in and day out. From the eyes of a child: our youngest son wrote his mom a letter which ended with "You are the most courageous person I have ever known".
To us, forced courage = enlightenment
I have shared this quote with a number of you but will post it again. A breast cancer survivor talking about her disease: "I will get more out of cancer than cancer will take from me".
I'm not a philosopher so I'll end now but, next time someone mentions courage, tell them you also eat thumb tacks for breakfast.
Thinking of you,
Al and Linda
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