[hutchibk]

I agree Joe that it is a fine line, and I have been reluctant to post successes at times when others are experiencing failures. But I have also experienced recurrences when others have been getting wonderful results, and so it goes, around and around. Such is the nature of this disease.

We are an amalgamation of people who share a common subset of cancer. That is truly the only common thread. Each one of us will come at it from a different perspective and a will have different fruit to bear on the subject. We all have different bodies, different doctors, different experiences, different approaches, different results, different psychology, different theories, different faiths, different spirituality, different treatments, different needs. We live in different countries, eat different diets, have different living situations, working situations, spousal (or not) situations. No one thing mentioned, offered, espoused, touted, expressed or experienced is going to apply to all who visit here.

In this cancer life, I have learned that one must attend to shared information with a proper personal skepticism and ability to suss out what makes sense for them and what doesn't. Some days, I am more open to some things and certain info than I might be on other days. But it is up to me to take it or leave it or to not click on a thread that I just don't have the energy for. I take personal responsibility when I am here. I don't blame anyone for what they post, unless they break the code of the site. I don't get upset by anyone who is too sunny or positive when I am feeling blue or worried for my situation. If it doesn't float my boat that day or that week, then I just don't go there. Life is about choices and I can't blame anyone else for the choices I make.

I come here because this is a family to me. A group of people who I share something in common with. I come here to try and contribute to the conversation, with my perspective, successes, and failures, hoping they might be helpful to someone else in their fight. And I have learned WELL beyond my initial expectations - many hints and ideas that have possibly saved my life more than once. I promise that is not an exaggeration. Before I became an active member, I read the forums and learned about brain mets and lapatinib trials. Scared me to death! Not knowing that I would ever need it, I kept that info in my back pocket for 4 years... running it by my doc who always said that "we are not there yet, it is not out of trials, and let's hope we don't ever need it." Well, we did and it has been a savior for me for 2.5 years.

This is a support group and those who are members post what is close to their heart... it is an outlet, a forum, and a tool; and sometimes it is a vent, a rant, a sadness or a fear. Often it is a question, a prayer, an overtly positive message, a success, or just an update with warts and all. And sometimes it is a propeller-head named Lani who shares the future with us in ways that makes us HOPE AND CHEER, even though we may not understand anything written in the trial results that she posts. That is what support groups are all about. Sometimes you take, sometimes you give, and sometimes you just sit back and let it happen around you.

That said, anyone who joins here looking for a site that fills only a narrow need that they have, is a true curiosity to me.

I hope all who visit here will take personal responsibility for their choices.