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StephN · 02-15-2010, 03:45 PM

I can't help but recall this poem Vicki dashed off one evening and posted. She has such a wonderful capacity with words. Her conversation with her cancer has gone on for some time as you can read below.
Thanks again, sweet sister, for the wise verses.

I didn't Want You
I didn’t want you
But one day you came anyway.

I hated you at my very core
You slept in my breast anyway.

I hugged myself and tried not to cry
My pillow case was soaked anyway.

I wanted to wash myself clean of you
I smiled when you left anyway.

I went about my life and willed you to go away
You haunted me anyway.

I never wanted to hear your voice again
You called me anyway.

I saw you again and tried to stay calm
I threw up anyway.

Herceptin lost 71 to 85 that game
Guess you thought you won anyway.

You were charmed by my innocence
You tried to take it anyway.

My confidence and strength inspired others
You crippled me anyway.

My smile stopped you dead in your tracks.
You overran me anyway.

I thought you were harmless
You hung to me anyway.

You tried to take my life away from me…scarred the deepest part of me
I am living everyday anyway.
I am loving life anyway.
__________________
Love and Hugs, Vickie

02-15-2010, 03:45 PM	#18
StephN Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Misty woods of WA State Posts: 4,128	Re: I heard from Vicki h & have an update. I can't help but recall this poem Vicki dashed off one evening and posted. She has such a wonderful capacity with words. Her conversation with her cancer has gone on for some time as you can read below. Thanks again, sweet sister, for the wise verses. I didn't Want You I didn’t want you But one day you came anyway. I hated you at my very core You slept in my breast anyway. I hugged myself and tried not to cry My pillow case was soaked anyway. I wanted to wash myself clean of you I smiled when you left anyway. I went about my life and willed you to go away You haunted me anyway. I never wanted to hear your voice again You called me anyway. I saw you again and tried to stay calm I threw up anyway. Herceptin lost 71 to 85 that game Guess you thought you won anyway. You were charmed by my innocence You tried to take it anyway. My confidence and strength inspired others You crippled me anyway. My smile stopped you dead in your tracks. You overran me anyway. I thought you were harmless You hung to me anyway. You tried to take my life away from me…scarred the deepest part of me I am living everyday anyway. I am loving life anyway. __________________ Love and Hugs, Vickie __________________ "When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest." H.D. Thoreau Live in the moment. MY STORY SO FAR ~~~~ Found suspicious lump 9/2000 Lumpectomy, then node dissection and port placement Stage IIB, 8 pos nodes of 18, Grade 3, ER & PR - Adriamycin 12 weekly, taxotere 4 rounds 36 rads - very little burning 3 mos after rads liver full of tumors, Stage IV Jan 2002, one spot on sternum Weekly Taxol, Navelbine, Herceptin for 27 rounds to NED! 2003 & 2004 no active disease - 3 weekly Herceptin + Zometa Jan 2005 two mets to brain - Gamma Knife on Jan 18 All clear until treated cerebellum spot showing activity on Jan 2006 brain MRI & brain PET Brain surgery on Feb 9, 2006 - no cancer, 100% radiation necrosis - tumor was still dying Continue as NED while on Herceptin & quarterly Zometa Fall-2006 - off Zometa - watching one small brain spot (scar?) 2007 - spot/scar in brain stable - finished anticoagulation therapy for clot along my port-a-catheter - 3 angioplasties to unblock vena cava 2008 - Brain and body still NED! Port removed and scans in Dec. Dec 2008 - stop Herceptin - Vaccine Trial at U of W begun in Oct. of 2011 STILL NED everywhere in Feb 2014 - on wing & prayer 7/14 - Started twice yearly Zometa for my bones Jan. 2015 checkup still shows NED 2015 Neuropathy in feet - otherwise all OK - still NED. Same news for 2016 and all of 2017. Nov of 2017 - had small skin cancer removed from my face. Will have Zometa end of Jan. 2018.