[Kathy S in Tokyo]

Hi Kat,

My newest oncologist always discusses the treatments and lets me know how awful things could be so I can decide which is worse, the cancer of the the degeneration due to the drugs. We carefully watch and decide when to kick in with the heavy artillery (20 Taxol treatments now because I needed to shrink the cancer in my lungs enough to breath a little last June) and when to wait and watch the cancer which will never go away while maintaining the absence of its growth with weekly Herceptin forever or until my heart protests even slightly. He warned that the first Herceptin treatment might cause a severe reaction, even death, and that if I coughed even a little during the first I.V. I'd have to stay at the hospital overnight or for a few days. I had to mentally confirm the status of my underwear before signing the release for that treatment, just in case I ended up in the emergency room. He asks at every visit about neuropathy (here the big deal is not being able to keep one's slippers on dur to numb toes, so culturally oriented to Japan!). I suppose I'd feel differently if I knew I'd ever be NED, but it seems that the expectations for stage IV are that I can probably have a nice long life by living with cancer and striving for "stable." I appreciate the onc.'s concern for balancing treatments with quality of life at this point. It sure would be nice to have a day or two when I forget to even think about cancer though.