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Andrea Barnett Budin · 10-18-2013, 03:45 PM

Hi Denise,

So distressed to hear about your crappy symptoms. They all suck. Wouldn't wish them on anyone.

You are overwhelmed, stressed out and your body is messed up.

I am praying for you to find the way around all this.

If you haven't checked out my latest post in A SIMPLE FORMULA FOR CHANGING YOUR FUTURE, please take a look. I had you, and well, all of us in mind, when I wrote those words.

It's the only way around our far too many losses in far too short a period of time.

GROUP HUG, EVERYONE!

We must keep moving forward. Onward and upward. Which takes a hell of a lot of effort, I know.

Once in the chemo room days (10 yrs of them for me) the social worker sensed I wasn't myself. I am usually sunshiney, as you are Denise! Apparently, my glow was rather tarnished.

She came over to me, brought a chair up beside me and asked me what was going on.

I stammered. Clueless. I responding, I realized that not only my dearest friend on the planet, Sue, had passed on, but this one and that and oh that one too. My chemo mate for 5 yrs, who sat beside me every wk, who I talked to and e'd and went to dinner with as both our husbands always accompanied us and were there to support one another as caregivers.

The social worker suggested that I write each person's name down and then touch each name, close my eyes and think of them. That I take a few moments to send them my love, which I did at length, and then to send them my blessings and prayers for them.

When I got home, I made my list. To my amazement, there were over 20 names!!!!!!

That alone shook me, but also served to get me out of my funk, which I hadn't fuller realized I had sunken into.

One by one, I did as she suggested. And it was an amazingly gratifying experience. I felt very connected to each one for the few minutes I spent with them. I had a form of closure, sending my love and offering my blessings and prayers. I felt they were with me! Truly! That they heard me. That my words were heard.

You may want to try that out. May it help bring your joy and serenity back. And may your lousy symptoms lessen with each hour of each day, NEDdy!

I love you.

ANDI

10-18-2013, 03:45 PM	#70
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Re: Emergency mri &%#@$!! Hi Denise, So distressed to hear about your crappy symptoms. They all suck. Wouldn't wish them on anyone. You are overwhelmed, stressed out and your body is messed up. I am praying for you to find the way around all this. If you haven't checked out my latest post in A SIMPLE FORMULA FOR CHANGING YOUR FUTURE, please take a look. I had you, and well, all of us in mind, when I wrote those words. It's the only way around our far too many losses in far too short a period of time. GROUP HUG, EVERYONE! We must keep moving forward. Onward and upward. Which takes a hell of a lot of effort, I know. Once in the chemo room days (10 yrs of them for me) the social worker sensed I wasn't myself. I am usually sunshiney, as you are Denise! Apparently, my glow was rather tarnished. She came over to me, brought a chair up beside me and asked me what was going on. I stammered. Clueless. I responding, I realized that not only my dearest friend on the planet, Sue, had passed on, but this one and that and oh that one too. My chemo mate for 5 yrs, who sat beside me every wk, who I talked to and e'd and went to dinner with as both our husbands always accompanied us and were there to support one another as caregivers. The social worker suggested that I write each person's name down and then touch each name, close my eyes and think of them. That I take a few moments to send them my love, which I did at length, and then to send them my blessings and prayers for them. When I got home, I made my list. To my amazement, there were over 20 names!!!!!! That alone shook me, but also served to get me out of my funk, which I hadn't fuller realized I had sunken into. One by one, I did as she suggested. And it was an amazingly gratifying experience. I felt very connected to each one for the few minutes I spent with them. I had a form of closure, sending my love and offering my blessings and prayers. I felt they were with me! Truly! That they heard me. That my words were heard. You may want to try that out. May it help bring your joy and serenity back. And may your lousy symptoms lessen with each hour of each day, NEDdy! I love you. ANDI __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...