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Dear Havh,
So sorry you feel so alone and depressed. Where do you live? I am far from knowledgeable about cancer or HER2 but I am so sorry for not at least not acknowledging your posts. It seems to me that a lot of people on this site with stage IV and with IBC have survived a miraculous amount of time.
There's a quote that goes something like this "It's not the years that count but making the years count"
We are NOT our disease. ask your doctor about anti-depressants and get on an exercise regime at a gym - that way you'll interact with other people and boast your - oh chemo brain ! - those positive feelings.
My father was a doctor and in my teens - typically of teens I wondered why I was here and what help could I do for the world and therefore felt useless and was 'depressed." well my dad took me on his rounds which included people with a muscular distropy that made their arms and legs blow up like a balloon and they had trouble talking and it was hard to understand them. well they were so postive - one had written a book and been rejected and so was rewriting it - he was writing it with a pencil attached to his forehead that he taped out the letters. well their spirit of optimism, given the overwhelming difficulties they had, made me feel if they could do it, so could I.
Therefore let me give you a big cyber hug and a push to get out there and help someone who has worse problems and less advantages than you have - helping others is one of the best ways of feeling better. Believe me, I know that one.
You have ltos of friends on this site who are there to help you through this difficult time. you are not alone. I'll look for your future postings and try to respond.
love and hugs
sarah
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