[Colleens_Husband]

Hey Bob:

I just want to let you know that if your heart is in the right place, then you aren't going to do anything that is so wrong emotionally that it can't be fixed. And it is pretty obvious that your heart is in the right place.

There is a fine line between being super supportive and suffocating. That line changes day by day and hour by hour. If you are doing it right, you will be crossing that line quite a bit in the early stages and less so as you and your wife learn how those boundaries can change. If you communicate with your wife, things will work out eventually. Sometimes communicating means not saying anything.

As for me, I had just as much anxiety as Colleen did with this cancer. When I was feeling insecure, then I tended to talk too much about it. Sometimes Colleen just wanted me to be near her and to try to be as normal as possible. Unfortunately, cancer is like an elephant in the room, a big scary elephant at that. Something I learned to do was that when I had too much anxiety, I would start planning normal things like a vacation or what the next big home improvement project was going to be. It got everyone looking past the cancer.

Hey Bob, I am glad you found this site. I think you are doing a good job with all of this. You and your family will be in or thoughts and prayers.

Lee