Karen, I agree w/your hubby. I was remembering Fran Dresher's book CANCER SCHMANTZER. It's time, I think, to bring cancer out of the closet. To stop being afraid to mention the word let alone discuss the issues, as we all do so freely. Thank God for the millionth time for this fabulous venue and you fantastic WINNERS!
Our society can't seem to address death either. People don't know what to say to those stricken in any case. Many hide. Some sign their names to a card, send flowers or books, at a loss for words.
I found great comfort from the cards, flowers and books, from the calls from people I didn't think remembered me or ever even noticed me! I deeply appreciated when some said, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. That was a good one. And it was great when I kept hearing, You're a strong woman, if anyone can beat this you can! Or your amazing, you're so brave! I wasn't brave, I thought, I was just doing what had to be done. Then I read that THE BRAVEST ARE SURELY THOSE WHO HAVE THE CLEAREST VISION OF WHAT IS BEFORE THEM.. AND YET... GO OUT TO MEET IT. I stretched for grace. I reached up for dignity. I put my best face on, my wig and obligatory earrings (like underpants) -- wore a smile on my face, and forged on. I was NOT going to curl up into a fetal position and mourn my impending doom. I was NOT ready to make funeral plans. I was envisioning myself far into the future. I was living AS IF my desired destiny was a done deal, and I worked all day, each day, thinking thoughts of healing and victory, joy and serenity, harmony, appreciation, gratitude and a whole lot of awe!
The CANCER taboo we have self-imposed on our culture has to be rectified. The word does not equate to death. The experience is full of struggle but we have the power to heal our bodies and get on systems on track and functioning, with some help and with our personal empowerment. Cancer schmantzer means lifting the funereal pale that obfuscates the mysterious and fearful disease. Crazy sexy cancer is irreverent obviously, but it also says, it time to mature as a society. We menstruate. We no longer *get our friend*. Or, at least, I used to, once upon a time. We have vaginas and penises, depending... I now pee, no longer making a sissy. Let's just all grow up and deal. That's the point, I think. Or what I perceive from it all.
I look forward to our world being freer to discuss our illnesses, mourning and dead people. Too many shy away from such topics, like it's contagious or something. I have met Survivors who don't want to talk about their experience. Whereas I believe sharing what we learned is valuable information that must not go unsaid! It's fine to use the name of someone who have passed on (to the Spiritual Realm, in my opinion). Death is not the end of the story. Our Souls survive and move on to a different way of *being*, taking all the Lessons learned with them, becoming wiser and more learned. Those who have lost loved ones feel a flutter in their hearts when you mention the loved ones name. I don't think it makes them sad. It's makes me feel more connected to that dear person. I have been thinking a lot lately about my dear friend Sue. Her birthday was a few weeks ago. And Vicki's Bday is Sept 10 (mine the 3rd). We used to go away for Labor Day Weekend together to celebrate and exchange little Tiffany gifts. I miss these friends and felt the need to mention their names here. I wish you could have known them! Sue was the wisest, most loving, clear-sighted, giving, caring and downright funny person I have ever been blessed to know. When she died I sobbed uncontrollably for a long while. I just didn't like the idea that she wasn't in this world with me anymore. I know I will see her again, but I want her voice, her words now. I have saved every letter and card she ever sent me, and they are fabulous. When I am ready, I will go and fish them out of my night table drawer full of goodies and reread them. Her every word was precious to me. We need to talk about our loved ones, those here and those just over our shoulder, say their names and express our feelings openly. Not just on this site, but out there in the real world.
I think that if we can find the courage to take the FEAR out of cancer, we could go a long way toward improving statistics, rather than being cowered by them, caught up in a kind of mob mentality, virtually scaring ourselves to death. That's my take, anyway. Wishing all of you decades of NED sooner rather than later! Let's personally contribute to bettering the odds, showing the world how to beat this greedy monster.
Andi 
AndiBB@aol.com