[Colleens_Husband]

Marie:

When I read your post, my first reaction was. "Relax? What is that?" Colleen has been fighting cancer for one full year now. I've been so busy making sure he children are taken care of, Colleen is taken care of, making sure my business continues to function, that there hasn't been any time for me to relax.

I've always been one of those people who puts their head down and just keep relentlessly plugging away until a difficulty is overcome. I have a strong sense of duty, so I put the things that must get done ahead of my needs. I know it isn't the correct approach, but it is the reality of my life.

I should know better, I have a degree in psychology and worked as a psychologist for a short time. Maybe its like the plumber who has a dripping faucet in his own house. Who knows?

Marie, here's the thing. I believe that you have devoted so much time and effort to Ed's disease, that you forgot what normal is. You know what cancer normal is, but what is non-cancer normal to you and Ed? If this is the case, then you may be feeling depression based on placelessness. Its the same thing as if your lost your home. This is pretty common and cancer counselors are pretty good at dealing with it and directing you and Ed to a place where you can continue to thrive. This type of counseling is pretty interesting because it will allow you and Ed to discover who you want to be after cancer.

Marie, you and Ed are at a real good place in your lives right now. You may feel that the rug has been pulled out from under you, but what you are feeling is also closely related to a bird being let out of cage for the first time. You have had a certain security in dealing with cancer, and now for the first time in a long time, you have the freedom of living beyond cancer.

Marie, you and Ed are going to be in our thoughts and prayers.

Lee