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Believe51 · 08-14-2008, 12:36 PM

I know what does it for me but I am curious how you push away deperession?? Tactics are proving difficult right now. I am more depressed now than this whole 2 year thing has ever made me! Yes, I should be on a cloud with Mighty Oak finally in remission but I am so so sad at the moment. Maybe some of this IS because he is doing well and I have a moment to realize that I am more depressed now.

The things that are making me sad are that I am stuck. I am stuck at work and I am stuck with a useless grandmother (landlord, not family to me anymore). Please know that my realization of my living grandmother who is dead to me is a relationship I have strived for since I was little. Do you know she has NEVER hugged me? It was just this year she said she loved me, only from guilt (I am 43).

Help me unstick myself so I can enjoy remission with me man.

BELIEVE51

PS: When we go on our remission cruise I have to lie to her, otherwise she will expect Ed to be shoveling this winter, taking out garbage, catering to her, and raising rent (spiteful, controlling, mean, bitter, hateful, relentless)......I AM GETTING A DOCTOR'S NOTE THAT STATES HE WILL NEVER WORK ANOTHER DAY (truth) and that we will be in a hospital for 13 days (the lie).

PPS: I am trying to get sun so I come home looking like I was at a hospital and not tanned from the Carribbean (sneaky, sneaky)

ANYONE WANNA ADOPT ME< I AM IN THE MARKET FOR A GRANDMOTHER THAT LOVES ME??

Why do I have to lie??? Ughhhhh!!

08-14-2008, 12:36 PM	#1
Believe51 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: RHODE ISLAND (Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008) 'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume ALWAYS BELIEVE Posts: 2,999	~How Do You Relax, Caregivers??~ I know what does it for me but I am curious how you push away deperession?? Tactics are proving difficult right now. I am more depressed now than this whole 2 year thing has ever made me! Yes, I should be on a cloud with Mighty Oak finally in remission but I am so so sad at the moment. Maybe some of this IS because he is doing well and I have a moment to realize that I am more depressed now. The things that are making me sad are that I am stuck. I am stuck at work and I am stuck with a useless grandmother (landlord, not family to me anymore). Please know that my realization of my living grandmother who is dead to me is a relationship I have strived for since I was little. Do you know she has NEVER hugged me? It was just this year she said she loved me, only from guilt (I am 43). Help me unstick myself so I can enjoy remission with me man. BELIEVE51 PS: When we go on our remission cruise I have to lie to her, otherwise she will expect Ed to be shoveling this winter, taking out garbage, catering to her, and raising rent (spiteful, controlling, mean, bitter, hateful, relentless)......I AM GETTING A DOCTOR'S NOTE THAT STATES HE WILL NEVER WORK ANOTHER DAY (truth) and that we will be in a hospital for 13 days (the lie). PPS: I am trying to get sun so I come home looking like I was at a hospital and not tanned from the Carribbean (sneaky, sneaky) ANYONE WANNA ADOPT ME< I AM IN THE MARKET FOR A GRANDMOTHER THAT LOVES ME?? Why do I have to lie??? Ughhhhh!! __________________ 9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI 6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression 10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement, NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5 12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!! Last edited by Believe51; 09-02-2008 at 10:36 AM..