[tousled1]

Mary,

It is quite normal to feel the way you do. While you're going through your treatments you are kept so busy with doctor appointments, tests, etc that you really don't have much time to think about anything except fighting this disease. Now that you are coming to the end of treatment you have more time on your hands to think. Your "normal" after completion of your treatment will not be what your "normal" was before the beginning of your journey. I have found that I don't sweat the small stuff anymore, have little patience for some people, and just enjoy each day for the little things. Don't despair. If you feel you need medication to help you through this, don't hesitate to ask your doctor for either an antidepressant or an anti anxiety drug. I took antidepressants for 4 years after my son passed away from leukemia. I stopped taking them the year before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I have not gone back to them but I do take an anti anxiety drug - Ativan which really helps. I also have a terrible time with sleeping -- started when I was on Herceptin only. I take Ambien CR for that. You can not live your life worry about cancer each and every day. There is so much in life to appreciate and it's up to you to find just what is going to make you happy now. If it means developing new friends and dropping old ones, or taking up a new hobby. the best advice I can give you is to make sure you do something nice just for yourself at least once a week. Hang in there it does get better!