|
Thank you, Kelly, for giving us all so much to think about! You've had some really wonderful answers. My situation is a little different, in that I am 77 years old and have been fighting BC for over 22 years. At first I was in a positive, maybe "denial mode" , even though I had a bilateral mastectomy and my only sibling died of BC that same year. Then 5 years later, with new mets, I realized this was a for-real life threat. My husband and I reluctantly retired from our practice as psychologists, moving to a tiny mountain town to just be together away from the world.and enjoy whatever life we had left together. Retiring didn't really work because people found us and we became involved again in activity and practice, though in a less stressful way. I was NED for 15 years, by then we had moved to a larger town, and "settled in for the rest of our lives" in our dream home. Ha! One of things I've learned is "people make plans and God just chuckles." A CT scan after a heart attack in 2004 showed that the BC was back in my lungs with a vengeance, now her2. My oncologist said I wouldn't have lived 3 months if the BC hadn't been found. So I was given a new lease on life and I am very grateful. After chemo and herceptin for 15 months I am now NED, but now I have two things to choose whether to worry about: (1) being stage 4, her2, and a 3-timer, the cancer could return any time, and (2) now I am also dealing with serious cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure. I have a choice of worrying about a slower death or a quicker one! So I'm planning my funeral and designating what trinkets go to which of my 9 children, 32 grandchildren or 30 great-grands! I'm actually having fun with that, but I'm also buying new clothes and fixing up whatever I want to in the new house we moved into 10 months ago (in a wonderful little city in a different state). My husband and I enjoy life to the fullest---we've never been closer. We visit our extended family whenever we please. Yes, there are some really bad days, but life is too short to dwell on them! I believe beyond doubt in a wonderful hereafter. I've had some very special dreams or visions and experiences to strengthen that belief. But I am in no hurry to go there yet! The point made that no one knows if they have a tomorrow is true, and we have all been blessed with the opportunity to face our own mortality and decide to live life to the fullest. This wonderful web site gives us friends who truly understand. We love each other and pray for each other, we empathise and share experiences in a way that is a very real blessing. Some one once said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Fear robs us of faith if we let it. Fear and faith cannot co-exist. It is my prayer that we can each face life with faith and find joy and meaning wherever and however we can. I know many of you have young children to raise, and fear of leaving them, but the legacy you can give them of living with faith and joy in every day is a great legacy, no matter how many years you are with them. How you live your life is their inspiration and example. Sorry this is so long and please forgive my soapbox oration, but I believe strongly in what I am saying and my love and prayers go out to you that you will find peace and love and joy in every day. Hugs, Tricia
|