[Andrea Barnett Budin]

With my 2nd dx when the bc spread throughout my liver, and I had been stung by a few "friends" who dodged me in the supermarket, hiding in other aisles, "friends" who didn't send a card or make a phone call, I suddenly realized that IF the stats were true and I maybe had a year left, I would be very selective about who I spent time with (on the phone or out to dinner or whatever).

I started to cut the dead wood. And that's not the person I was.

Once I took the energy suckers out of my life, the takers in general who used me when it was convenient for them but disappeared otherwise, I found it amazing. Though I chastised myself for being so cold-hearted -- I FELT WAY BETTER!

Their absence made me a happier person. No more coming home from a "date" and feeling angry and insulted, disrespected and drained of all energy!

I've always been a kind and giving person, tolerant and "nice"/polite. But you know, if you feel like crap every time you encounter certain pp, even dear old friends, sometimes it's necessary to cut them out of your life. Nicely. Always like a lady. No hard feelings. Can't even explain that every time we meet you say something that is hurtful to me, you don't think before you speak, you don't consider others' feelings and you take me and my hospitality for granted.

I decided I don't need those people in my life, and that I feel relieved not to have to deal with them. Sounds harsh, but it's a gift you owe yourself. Sigh. Turning the other cheek, being taken advantage of -- enough. I deserve better. And so do each of us.

Follow your heart.

My kids would say, Why is she/he your friend? Every time you see them you are upset by them. And they were right. Some pp had become a "habit". There were of course many good qualities, but if I am ranting about my lst encounter for days, all distressed and aggravated -- those pp shouldn't be in my inner circle. Hard to do, but it's my new policy. If it hurts, don't do it anymore.

Makes sense, yes?