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Believe51 · 12-23-2008, 09:16 AM

Looks like it is time to chime in myself. I have been a bit out of control lately myself and am so happy to see a thread like this one. Being not-so myself lately I find I am really letting go, which does not help the depression issue either. I feel like I am spinning out of total control, spiraling downward and outward (the butt anyway..LOL). Right now I am going to pamper myself and work through the depression first and I am sure that I will gain composure again. If you have not got it yet, I like to stay in control and the lack of it really makes me feel lost. I am so used to 'doing' something and taking charge that I feel a bit powerless at the moment. But I do have the power and have promised that the depression will be tended to immediately and after the holidays....I will grasp the reins once more. So for the last 4 weeks I have let myself go but know this is and has to be a temporary thing. Now I must go, I do believe there is an exotic cookie that needs my attention right now! Kidding, I have a Christmas party at work. I'll be good....but no promises.>>Believe51

12-23-2008, 09:16 AM	#7
Believe51 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: RHODE ISLAND (Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008) 'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume ALWAYS BELIEVE Posts: 2,999	Ut Oh Looks like it is time to chime in myself. I have been a bit out of control lately myself and am so happy to see a thread like this one. Being not-so myself lately I find I am really letting go, which does not help the depression issue either. I feel like I am spinning out of total control, spiraling downward and outward (the butt anyway..LOL). Right now I am going to pamper myself and work through the depression first and I am sure that I will gain composure again. If you have not got it yet, I like to stay in control and the lack of it really makes me feel lost. I am so used to 'doing' something and taking charge that I feel a bit powerless at the moment. But I do have the power and have promised that the depression will be tended to immediately and after the holidays....I will grasp the reins once more. So for the last 4 weeks I have let myself go but know this is and has to be a temporary thing. Now I must go, I do believe there is an exotic cookie that needs my attention right now! Kidding, I have a Christmas party at work. I'll be good....but no promises.>>Believe51 __________________ 9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI 6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression 10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement, NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5 12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!