[Jackie07]

Here's the delima: Would you rather be a worrier and be diligent on catching the recurrence or be a semi-fool to trust your medical provider completely and ended up having recurrence overlooked?

My conclusion after all the medical adventures I've been through is that there's just not much we can do to steer the direction of our future.

One of the things that has helped me to stay sane is what I learned from my volunteer days back in college time. When 'transaction analysis' (I'm throwing in the terms because Lee is trained in psychology was popular, the volunteer center used "I am O.K, You are O.K.' for our group training.

The best concept I got from that training is to always focus on the 'here and now'. And I've also learned from the past that I need to 'trust but verify' my medical providers' opinions. There are so many factors involved when a doctor speaks to us.

Back in 1990, when my own family doctor would not support my neurologist's advice to get me a special contract to have the operation done by a Johns Hopkins trainged neurosurgeon in town, I had to fight for the deal by myself (luckily was having a very capable boss who had worked at a law firm before and got me an attorney who was just voted Best Young Lawer of the Year in Texas - we did not need her service eventually, but it gave us a good, assurance feeling and I did get my surgery done within 15 days.)

So here I am, still alive and well after two brain surgeries and two breast cancer surgeries. Having lost every job every time I had a medical procedure, I just focus on the thanksgiving part.

Within a half year, I think I can complete my training and perhaps get a [part-time?]job in medical billing. If something else happens, we'll deal with it when it comes.