[Andrea Barnett Budin]

So lovely, lovely Leslie! The gems in Life are so often unseen. The bigness of the little things simply go underappreciated. Since bc I have come to witness the sublime in the ordinary. The experience has elevated me (kicking and screaming along the way...). It has all served to lift me up to previously unfathomed heights. Joseph Campbell has observed -- "IT IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ABYSS (where) COMES THE VOICE OF SALVATION. THE BLACK MOMENT IS THE MOMENT WHEN THE REAL MESSAGE OF TRANSFORMATION IS GOING TO COME. AT THE DARKEST MOMENT COMES THE LIGHT."

Campbell refers to the Polynesian saying -- You are 'STANDING ON A WHALE FISHING FOR MINNOWS'. He goes on to explain, "We are standing on a whale. The ground of being is the ground of our being, and when we simply turn outward, we see all of these little problems here and there. But, if we look inward, we see that we are the source of them all."

In searching within our psyche we discover our past and present pain. Then, we find that we have the power to *consciously choose* to LET IT GO. This act is the hero's deed. The sheroe's dance with obstacles that lead the way to triumph. We become freed, to say --HERE AM I! I am ready to move forward. In to a new normal. And I have chosen to embrace it, seeing that being alive has fresh worth, unimagined zest and so very much previously unseen *bling*...! The experience of The Thrill Of Living transcends all adversities set before us to endure. Rather than mourn the unwanted we come to feel the joy and serenity of simply being. We come to rejoice over our good fortune, shedding the weight of the Not Bargained For. We come to *know* we have the power to call desired dreams to us -- with our carefully scripted inner dialogue and our newfound ability to reject odious thinking. Thus we release horrid emotions and welcome gladness. We *own* our knowing and are filled with faith and belief and jubilation over our mastery of control. Having risen to a plane of consciousness that directly links us to divineness...

Sorry. Just got home from my Vit H treatment. A half hour infusion which took two hours in the chemo room. I musn't complain. I first began Herceptin 9 years ago, on November 11, 1998... In August of '98, diagnosed with multiple metastases throughout my liver, I thought I would surely die. The statistics I read were dire and pierced my heart. Slowly, midst Taxotere and its ravaging effects (on my body, yet including my cancer cells) I came to regain my footing. I began to KNOW that I was on a gravel-filled and winding roadway -- barefoot and stumbling -- but slowly being led to survival! I became able to reach out and OWN that knowing. To learn to control my mind, and therefore my outcome, to a far greater degree than I had ever thought possible. With intense focus and impassioned certainty I tread toward what one doctor eventually would call -- cautious remission. From December of '98 I began to reclaim my joy and serenity, *knowing* I was on the right path and precisely where I was headed.

So I am especially thoughtful at this moment. Moved by Leslie's post of beauty, remembering the radiance of her Spirit, these words are what came out of me...
I wish every one of my Sisters and Brothers REMISSION with all my heart! Much loving energy to you all...
Pinkie and Flori and Ed and Marie's Mom seem to be most in need at this moment of my prayers, but I pray for you ALL...
Andi