Oh my. Kat, dear Sister, please get yourself into therapy. I apologize for being that blunt, but I have a sister, niece and darling friend w/similar psychological issues as you describe. They are in therapy and on special meds. And they need both of these for them to feel better, less depressed, less manic, less crazed. I am praying for you to help yourself b/c it appears that no one, except maybe another Sister on this site, is going to urge you to do what you must do.
I have heard other women say they see YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED in their husband's eyes. Your relationships are caving, leaving you w/o a bed to call your own, w/o an order midst the chaos. Please call today. Sent with loving energy for you,
Andi
Maryanne, Do you have symptoms of Pagets or IBC?
You're a major hero on this site, who has stood up to canser 
with boldness and tenacity. I love your Spirit and have been thinking of you every day, praying you are home and doing better. What's happening? Please share. You can email me if you'd prefer to fly under the radar. LOVE YOU...