[Becky]

Not only do you have to try to remain positive, I think your doctor's stats are wrong. For example, when I had cancer, I was Stage 2A. Herceptin was not available (although you can see by my signature that I did have late Herceptin - alone after chemo and rads were completed because by that time it was available and I fought for it and got it). Prior to that, I asked my onc for stats and he told me 70/30 which seemed high but it was Her2+/no Herceptin days. That said, you may be dealing with old statistics because in general, 2 years out, Herceptin reduces recurrence by 52% with a 6 year overall reduction of 39% (this is as far out as the stats go right now - we are on the cutting edge).

This brings your stats with Herceptin to a 2 year of 76% and a 6 yr to almost 70%.

But stats are nothing - nothing at all. I have a neighbor who was diagnosed Stage 4 ovarian cancer 3 years ago. She had a 17% chance of being here one year out. What that means is of 100 women just like her, only 17 will be here in 1 year. She is still here and doing well. So, even if you only had a 1% chance, why shouldn't that one woman be you. You will be fine and looking out the other side. Its this early side and a year or two following that the demons still haunt you. I promise, every day will be better. It seems like baby steps and suddenly, one day, you realize you didn't think about having had cancer for a whole day or a whole week - at least you won't be thinking about yourself. You may be just here on the board trying like hell to calm someone down who needs you. Trust me, I was a freak when I found out I had cancer and I was a freak in the operating room, chemo room, radiation room and then back to the chemo room. Friday is my 7 year survival date (of surgery although I was diagnosed weeks earlier). We are all here for you 24/7 and are rooting for you everyday.