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Believe51 · 07-10-2009, 08:09 PM

Tonya, my husband has mentioned many times before that he is glad he is the sick spouse and not the caregiver. Of course he never wants to leave me and has guilt about having me become a widow so young. Really, I do not know what I am going to do without him by my side. This journey has made me a stronger, more determined person and this comes from loving someone that deeply. Our marriage keeps getting better and it is very hard to know it will be over some day soon. It is the hardest thing I ever had to face and I am just sick of it all. I am actually afraid that I won't know how to move on alone. This journey has totally aged me, emotionally and physically. Imagine how tired he is if I am this beat up myself (shutter)!!

I thank you Lovey, I thank you for appreciating all that we do, out of love, out of devotion, out of our vows to you. Please know that your love to us has allowed us to be the people of which you speak. Know that our love for you shall go on for an eternity, whether we conquer bc or not. We love you all right back. You are our spouses, our lovers, but most of all....our very best friends and the most courageous people we know. Thank you for this post, I really needed this tonight. I am so sad watching this happen to my baby. Sending love to you tonight.>>Believe51

07-10-2009, 08:09 PM	#2
Believe51 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: RHODE ISLAND (Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008) 'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume ALWAYS BELIEVE Posts: 2,999	Tonya, my husband has mentioned many times before that he is glad he is the sick spouse and not the caregiver. Of course he never wants to leave me and has guilt about having me become a widow so young. Really, I do not know what I am going to do without him by my side. This journey has made me a stronger, more determined person and this comes from loving someone that deeply. Our marriage keeps getting better and it is very hard to know it will be over some day soon. It is the hardest thing I ever had to face and I am just sick of it all. I am actually afraid that I won't know how to move on alone. This journey has totally aged me, emotionally and physically. Imagine how tired he is if I am this beat up myself (shutter)!! I thank you Lovey, I thank you for appreciating all that we do, out of love, out of devotion, out of our vows to you. Please know that your love to us has allowed us to be the people of which you speak. Know that our love for you shall go on for an eternity, whether we conquer bc or not. We love you all right back. You are our spouses, our lovers, but most of all....our very best friends and the most courageous people we know. Thank you for this post, I really needed this tonight. I am so sad watching this happen to my baby. Sending love to you tonight.>>Believe51 __________________ 9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI 6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression 10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement, NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5 12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!