Unregistered

Merry,

My mom was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer in November of 2010. She has metastesis to the bones, liver, and brain. It is August 2011 and she is under the care of hospice. I am the primary caregiver and I have no siblings. The doctors (three opinions) and hospice nurses have said that she has days to weeks to live. We've made it past the days, and are working on the weeks. The harsh truth of all of this is that no one gets to pick their time, and death comes to all of us eventually. Like your mom, my mom is fiesty, but I have watched her slowly deteriorate from a relatively healthy to severly ill woman in a matter of months. You are doing the right thing by your mom, don't worry. Personally, I feel angry, sad, happy, anxious, reflective, ect... everyday, sometimes all at once. I think it's normal to feel uncertain about your ability. But it is your thoughts getting the better of you. I am so very tired of "waiting for my mom to die", physically, mentally, and emotionally tired. Rationally, I know she will be in a better place and in greater comfort when the time comes, this does not mean that I am wishing the time away. Your mom, like my mom has fought a fight that ultimately cannot be won. Unfortunately the best that can be hoped for is a comfortable, peaceful transistion. I know this is not uplifting, just know that you are not alone. I'm not a person of faith, but I wish whatever your higher power is to grant you strength in you and your mom's journey.

Sincerely,

Rick