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Colleen · 09-15-2015, 03:42 PM

Julie I hear you loud and clear! Being a cancer lifer, stage IV at initial diagnosis, I get very overwhelmed with the constant doctors appointments, tests, scans etc., it is never ending nor will it ever end for me. Just trying to plan simple things must always comply with my 21 day calendar for my Herceptin/perjeta infusion is trying. Perfect example, this week my youngest is moving into her dorm for the school year; she is a x-country runner for her university so had to report before the start of school for training and competitions. She is in temporary athletic housing and has to be out this Thursday with her official dorm move in on Saturday, that's a two day gap in housing. As her mother I was concerned about appropriate accommodations and feel I need to get to her and put her in a hotel (also help her move in and hug her) but its my 21 day cycle on Thursday with an afternoon appointment. My call into the oncologist office did not get returned for over a week so I called again with a promise someone would get back to me later in the day, that was yesterday (Monday). I called again and finally got to speak with the scheduler/warm body and get the appointment moved to an earlier time so I can get on the road with a reasonable arrival time. In the process I felt like I was treated with disdain for needing to change my appointment. I understand we all have our "junk" going on at times and it is hard to stay "sunny side up" but I am so tired of all of this! But the one thing I do when I get tired of all this I try to remember the things I am grateful for and create goals for myself to achieve. I refuse to have a "bucket list", mine is an idea list/accomplishment list. Sorry but the movie Bucket List just gives it the wrong connotation for me, I refuse to think of myself as dying because I am thriving despite being stage IV.

Dx 11/04/2013 stage IV HER2 neu; 2.5 cm mass right breast, 6 nodes involved including right axillary, small mass on dome of liver too difficult to biopsy
11/13/2013 start 6 cycles taxotere, Herceptin, perjeta every three weeks
01/19/2014 syncope episode; six stitches to chin 4 cracked teeth
01/27/2014 meet with neurologist for syncope
01/29/2014 Brain MRI all clear; no missing parts and no extra parts
02/27/2013 last cycle with taxotere, yay!!
Continue Herceptin and perjeta every three weeks until eternity?
04/22/2014 PET/CT scan shows NED! Yay!
05/20/2014 2nd brain MRI all clear!
08/28/2014 PET/ scan NED CT
21/2014 MRI with contrast of breasts; all clear
05/22/2014 rebiopsy original tumor sight no cancer found!
02/04/2015 PET/CT scan still NED!!!
05/22/2015 Mammogram clear!
05/18/2015 Brain MRI clear!!!
05/18/2015 issue with echocardiogram redo in six weeks
07/02/2015 echocardiogram good!!!
08/18/2015 PET/CT NED!!!

09-15-2015, 03:42 PM	#11
Colleen Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2014 Location: Monarch Beach, CA Posts: 88	Re: Do you ever feel like enough it enough Julie I hear you loud and clear! Being a cancer lifer, stage IV at initial diagnosis, I get very overwhelmed with the constant doctors appointments, tests, scans etc., it is never ending nor will it ever end for me. Just trying to plan simple things must always comply with my 21 day calendar for my Herceptin/perjeta infusion is trying. Perfect example, this week my youngest is moving into her dorm for the school year; she is a x-country runner for her university so had to report before the start of school for training and competitions. She is in temporary athletic housing and has to be out this Thursday with her official dorm move in on Saturday, that's a two day gap in housing. As her mother I was concerned about appropriate accommodations and feel I need to get to her and put her in a hotel (also help her move in and hug her) but its my 21 day cycle on Thursday with an afternoon appointment. My call into the oncologist office did not get returned for over a week so I called again with a promise someone would get back to me later in the day, that was yesterday (Monday). I called again and finally got to speak with the scheduler/warm body and get the appointment moved to an earlier time so I can get on the road with a reasonable arrival time. In the process I felt like I was treated with disdain for needing to change my appointment. I understand we all have our "junk" going on at times and it is hard to stay "sunny side up" but I am so tired of all of this! But the one thing I do when I get tired of all this I try to remember the things I am grateful for and create goals for myself to achieve. I refuse to have a "bucket list", mine is an idea list/accomplishment list. Sorry but the movie Bucket List just gives it the wrong connotation for me, I refuse to think of myself as dying because I am thriving despite being stage IV. Dx 11/04/2013 stage IV HER2 neu; 2.5 cm mass right breast, 6 nodes involved including right axillary, small mass on dome of liver too difficult to biopsy 11/13/2013 start 6 cycles taxotere, Herceptin, perjeta every three weeks 01/19/2014 syncope episode; six stitches to chin 4 cracked teeth 01/27/2014 meet with neurologist for syncope 01/29/2014 Brain MRI all clear; no missing parts and no extra parts 02/27/2013 last cycle with taxotere, yay!! Continue Herceptin and perjeta every three weeks until eternity? 04/22/2014 PET/CT scan shows NED! Yay! 05/20/2014 2nd brain MRI all clear! 08/28/2014 PET/ scan NED CT 21/2014 MRI with contrast of breasts; all clear 05/22/2014 rebiopsy original tumor sight no cancer found! 02/04/2015 PET/CT scan still NED!!! 05/22/2015 Mammogram clear! 05/18/2015 Brain MRI clear!!! 05/18/2015 issue with echocardiogram redo in six weeks 07/02/2015 echocardiogram good!!! 08/18/2015 PET/CT NED!!!