HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - How can I look more appealing??depressed kat

MCS · 06-24-2006, 10:34 AM

Dear Kat,

It sounds as if you are really struggling with self image. I just responded to another threat of yours.

Yes. It's tough. Not only are we sick, everyone "sees" we are sick becasue we lose our hair, our face colour is pale, we are tired, worried, we cannot plan on a lot of things in the future, there are tons of bills from every doctor on the planet, there's a lwyas a test to get results that we might not like to hear, there's diet issues, vitamins, medications. We take two steps back and one forward only, always in a mid rut. I lost my job, which for me was a lot of self esteem. You lose friends and others are scared to talk to you.

I hear ya very well.

Sex?! Well, it's just about gone for us, mostly because of my self image. I can't simply relax and feel good on how I look. We are trying to be patient on this. Maybe once i feel a little better about myself, it will come back to normal-hope not loo late for the relationship. I used to get dressed nicely every day for work, now I just have the same pair of jeans and shirt to hang out and can't give myself the excuse to buy anything and certain low neck tops just don't look right either.

Also, this also hits an age where ourselves and our marriage may be changing even without the cancer and that itself would cause the same issues. Dealing with menopause, our bodies are dragging down, teenages at home, emptynesters. It's lots of stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Try other things: go to a movie, got to a local inexpensive restaurant you like, plan on some change at home, like garden, carpet, etc.; have a glass of wine at night, plan a short weekend get away. Search web for some news that would be interesting. Maybe he's scared out of his mind also. I would not suggest trying to talk about it. Sorry to the men on the site BUT men don't talk!

Be happy with what you have accomplished Kat. It's a lot. Pat yourself on the back.

XO

MCS (maria)

06-24-2006, 10:34 AM	#12
MCS Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 430	Dear Kat, It sounds as if you are really struggling with self image. I just responded to another threat of yours. Yes. It's tough. Not only are we sick, everyone "sees" we are sick becasue we lose our hair, our face colour is pale, we are tired, worried, we cannot plan on a lot of things in the future, there are tons of bills from every doctor on the planet, there's a lwyas a test to get results that we might not like to hear, there's diet issues, vitamins, medications. We take two steps back and one forward only, always in a mid rut. I lost my job, which for me was a lot of self esteem. You lose friends and others are scared to talk to you. I hear ya very well. Sex?! Well, it's just about gone for us, mostly because of my self image. I can't simply relax and feel good on how I look. We are trying to be patient on this. Maybe once i feel a little better about myself, it will come back to normal-hope not loo late for the relationship. I used to get dressed nicely every day for work, now I just have the same pair of jeans and shirt to hang out and can't give myself the excuse to buy anything and certain low neck tops just don't look right either. Also, this also hits an age where ourselves and our marriage may be changing even without the cancer and that itself would cause the same issues. Dealing with menopause, our bodies are dragging down, teenages at home, emptynesters. It's lots of stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Try other things: go to a movie, got to a local inexpensive restaurant you like, plan on some change at home, like garden, carpet, etc.; have a glass of wine at night, plan a short weekend get away. Search web for some news that would be interesting. Maybe he's scared out of his mind also. I would not suggest trying to talk about it. Sorry to the men on the site BUT men don't talk! Be happy with what you have accomplished Kat. It's a lot. Pat yourself on the back. XO MCS (maria)