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Tracy,
You may not have seen my previous message to you amongst the many loving posts sent to you from everyone here. Just wanted to say that I also lost my husband suddenly. He was 39. I do know the lost and helpless feelings you are facing now. Please don't have unrealistic expectations of yourself right now. You have been through so much. The process of grief is just that, a process. We are all different, but grief seems to follow a similar pattern with most people. Breast cancer brings about a form of grief as well. There is a good book called "Good Grief" which can help you understand the stages of the process. Shock, anger, acceptance etc... These stages can pop back up out of progression and surprise us at times. Be sure to take care of yourself dear one. Rest in knowing the love that God has for you. When you feel strong enough pursue knowing more and more of it. Let family and friends take care of you. It is their way of showing how much they love you, even when they don't know what to say, and you need their care. I remember a friend telling me "just feed the birds and water the flowers". This is so hard, I know. It is the severe trials of life that we look back on one day and realize have shaped our character. I don't mean to suggest that losing your love is a fair trade-off for a stronger character, but you will experience it none the less. Let God have His way with your heart and you will heal.
Thank you for the beautiful picture you shared earlier. Your happiness was evident in your smile. May it be restored to you in due season.
God Bless You,
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Cheryl
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