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Re: frustration and anger
Alicia, Alicia, Alicia...
Cranky? As long as you don't hit anyone...I think you are totally entitled to every bit of cranky you are feeling! Cancer sucks! And you have the added sucky-ness (if that's even a word) of having a toddler to care for when you're not feeling well. Add to that, the fact that you are clearly a loving and devoted mommy...and the emotional toll this is taking on you is HUGE.
Embrace the crankiness! Revel in it! You are entitled. Just don't be cranky with your beautiful son...and again, don't hit anyone...that's generally not a good idea.
And, on a more serious note, all the suggestions Elaine made are good ones. (no big surprise there!) But I would like to suggest that you mention the irritability to your care team. I was experiencing some of that, combined with an inability to concentrate...and my team recommended meds to help balance out my brain chemicals. What a relief! They helped so much! It may not be appropriate for you, but it might still be a good idea to mention it, so your docs are aware.
Good luck on the 5th! I'm headed off to the city now for my "vitamin H" infusion.
Sending a big cyber-hug your way!
Denise
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1/11-needle biopsy
2/11-Lumpectomy/axillary node dissection - Stage 3c, ER/PR-14/17 nodes
3/11 - Post-op staph infection,cellulitis, lymphedema,seroma,ARRRGH!
4/12/11-A/C x 4, then T/H x 4, H only,Q3 weeks
8/26/11 finished Taxol!!!
10/7/11 mastectomy/DIEP recon
11/11 radiation x28
1/12/12 1st CANCER-VERSARY!
1/12 Low EF/Herceptin "Holiday" :(
2/12 EF up - Back on Herceptin, heart meds
4/2/1212 surgery to repair separated incision from DIEP recon
6/8/12 Return to work :)
6/17/12 Fall, shatter wrist,surgery to repair/insert plate :(
7/10/12 last Herceptin
7/23/12 Brain Mets %$&#! 3cm and 1cm
8/10/12 Gamma knife surgery, LOTS of steroids;start H/Tykerb
8/23/12 Back to work
12/20/12 Injure back-3 weeks in wheel chair
1/12/13 2nd CANCER-VERSARY!
1/14/13 herniate disk in back - surgery to repair
1/27/13 Radiation necrosis - edema in brain - back on steroids - but not back to work - off balance, poor cordination in right arm
5/3/13 Start Avastin to shrink necrosis
5/10/13 begin weaning steroids
6/18/13 Brain MRI - Avastin seems to be working!
6/20/13 quarterly CT - chest, abdomen, pelvis - All Clear!
7/5/13 finally off steroids!!
7/7/13 joined the ranks of the CHEMO NINJAS I am now Tekuto Ki Ariku cancer assassin!
7/13/13 Symptoms return - back on steroids
7/26/13 Back on Avastin - try again!
8/26/13 Not ready to return to classroom yet :( But I CAN walk without holding onto things! :)
9/9/13 Brain MRI - fingers crossed
“ Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you, and you alone, to decide. ” – Cavett Robert
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