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Wow and YIKES! How fortunate that this young woman and her family are able to turn to you for guidance - this is some pretty rough terrain to have to maneuver. And now, not only do you have to get her on the right track, you probably have to do damage control after that very strange & unorthodox consult with the 1st doc! It sounds like he's already written her off. Or he's so poorly versed in current BC treatment he doesn't know what else to say!
Definitely go to a BC specialist - someone who treats BC all day, every day!
Maybe you can remind the family that while treating the BC is obviously an urgent situation, it's not EMERGENT - meaning, there's certainly enough time for them/her to get all the information needed before committing to any treatment decisions. Knowledge is power.
I'm inclined to think that since the primary tumor is so large and she is advanced, they'll encourage her to start on neoadjuvant chemo before considering any surgical intervention.
Praying for her, her family & you too!
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