[Leslie's sister]

There are so many thought-provoking posts here. It is nice to read them all. This is definitely a group of thinkers!

But, I specifically want to respond to Debbie’s eloquent post. Debbie you are definitely an important part of this list. Your posts are always so well thought out and supported. Please keep posting. I love reading them.

When I read your post on this subject, it really caused me to stop and reflect once again about the memorial page idea. Everything you say is so very true. So what is the problem? Look at it like this, you are the equivalent of a college graduate when it comes to recognizing and accepting the realities of a cancer diagnosis and the possibility of death. However, many newly diagnosed persons are like preschoolers; they just are not there mentally. They only want to see the success stories, the survivor stories, and the stories that give them hope. Then, and only then, can they see themselves as a success story. And, as Andi, likes to point out, seeing themselves as a success story is an important part of the battle. Some get to your level of thinking, some make it part way, and some never get there.

An example being my sister- I found this site within a few weeks of her diagnosis and told her about it. She finally had the courage to look at the site and “freaked out”, because she saw that some that had her same cancer were not doing well, and worse yet, some had even died. That was it for her. She couldn’t bear to look at the site. I am her eyes, if you will, her filter, gathering information and sifting out the “stuff” that she simply cannot bear to hear. She is an extreme example, but I’m sure that there are many more that, if they came across a memorial page, would agonize unnecessarily. Is it a rational way of looking at this? Not necessarily. But everyone has different coping mechanisms and I want the frightened to find comfort.

I can tell you this. The warriors with wings already have a memorial here. What I mean is this, there are women whose battle ended before I came here, Al’s Linda and Living Legend Lyn, for example, and even though I never “knew” them, I know them. I know them through their posts in the archives, posts where they poured their hearts out. So, even though I wasn’t here during their fight, I feel like I was and feel like I’m a better person for “knowing” them. And for those that prefer to avoid reading old posts, well that is ok too.

Again Debbie, thanks for a great post. I mean that sincerely. I just reread it and plan on saving it for my own personal reflection.

Lisa