[Pam P]

Lots of things going on,. I start radiation on my left thigh next Monday - don't know yet if it will be 15 or 20 treatments. I've been having pain the past 3 weeks - on and off. Also my left thigh muscle has atrophied in last few weeks - visibly smaller than right. Onc. Rad. Onc. Ortho surgeon or Rheumatologist, or Physical Therapist - none can tell me what caused that & haven't seen it before in just one limb, I had MRI of thoracic spine to see if nerve issues but nothing points to that. Will have MRI of lumbar soon. The MRI did show lots of tumor in all vertebrae.


My tumor marker blood test was way up two times in a row from 2770 - 4900 this week - means more cancer - the chemo I'm on - halaven - is probably not working any longer. The oncologist is keeping me on the same chemo for a few more weeks until I finish radiation. Usually they don't do both at same time but they think I should do it & it will be safe.

Before I see him again in 3 weeks I'll have scans to see what's going on. PET/CT, MRI of brain, lumbar. Doesn't look good right now. The onc. said I've lost ground - he's usually su positive. It's something I've thought but haven't said out loud.

I've been doing physical therapy to try to regain some strength. The rad. doc. said I should be very cautious due to the thoracic MRI and all the mets. The onc. says he wants me to continue to not lose more strength & he says to ask the ortho doc what restrictions & what it safe. The PT doesn't seem to know (?) I think the fact that it's cancer related has her nervous. I'm going to see if there's someone else there who has had more training in this type of therapy.

Trying not to panic. But I'm really scared now. It seems I haven't had a break in over a year now and new things keep going wrong faster and faster. Wondering if this is the end? I still have fight in me but am so discouraged. Thanks. Pam