[Believe51]

Sorry I have been a bit distant for the last two weeks but I have been a Mighty Oak Mission. He did the spinal rads, 30 GUx10 but could not finish the last 2 treatments (total of 8). He had the normal 'tolerable' side effects but the main problem he faced was the throat. His throat was swollen shut so tight that breathing and even swallowing was an exhausting effort for him. It is important for me to add that these complications do not always happen with spinal radiation and I do not wish for this post to discourage or dishearten anyone, especially our new family members.

Four days he could not eat so much as a crumb. Water was choked on so bad that I cringed; one thing that I never want to do if the Heimlich Maneuver on this man's ribs. He did start drinking his Ensure, few days later added tomato soup, then stage1 baby food bananas and peaches. Finally he graduated to yogurt which at one point was too thick. Girls, he tried so hard to eat to maintain his weight and keep hydrated. Great work Mighty Oak, you be 'da man!!

I managed to get him some liquid pain killers to add to his regime. Including the patch he did fairly good with pain control. Now the radiation is working he has had great relief with some of the back pain in general. It is too early to downgrade pain medication since it took so long to get it under control for my Sweetie. Soon though, I will wean him back when he gives me the word that he is ready.

We love our new RadMan, who is the Chief Radiologist Oncologist at our Radiation facility. His support, bedside manner and knowledge has me flying on a cloud. We feel secure and protected, a feeling I was weighed down heavy with worry when our doctor left. He tried to tell us the importance of trying to finish those last 2 treatments. I must add: "This is the first time my husband used the words.....I can't.....in this whole trying journey!" I stood tall as I protected his choice. After all, I promised him that I would always push him to trudge forward, unless of course, he said STOP. He said stop and that is just what he did. I respect this choice because I see how he pushes himself. We all have the right to tailor-make our journey and I think his choice 'fits' him well (hehe)!

My Mother-in-Law is failing and I so wish we could intervene. She is a thick-headed woman with feist who refuses even so much as a homecare nurse. Uggh!! She keeps informing me that she wants to die before her son. Understandable, but I pray she is not giving up. Mighty Oak needs his Mommy right now. It was so cute to hear him on the phone with her. He basically begged her to fight, if not for her own self, then for him. I cried as I heard that 'scared six year old boy come out' again, a voice I have not heard since diagnosis. He needs his Mommy!

My father just got home from the hospital two weeks ago with his heart and went back in again last night. He contracted that terrible virus going around. The EMT's were excellant and I am in the process of writing a card of thanks for the local newspaper.

I have 2 major projects going on right now. One of them is a speech for Washington and other preparations for that trip. The other is helping Rose start her foundation and also to move forward with the Rexin-G quest.

Whew!! I reviewed this post thus far and I cannot believe how simple this all sounds on paper. I want to thank everyone for even noticing that I was gone, besides vacations and weekends Believe51 is here every day. I took the week out of work to stay with him. It was for the best because my neck and back are out of commission once more. Thanks for the phone calls, PM's, e-mails and mailed letters that I received. You all make me feel so loved and protected. Your support reigns supreme and I shutter to think of where we would be without you all. I love you all.>>Believe51

PS: I think it is time for a nap! Whew!