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Re: Thoughts filling my head.
Thank you all for your comments.
I think I let my anxiety get the better of me at times. It comes and goes and when it comes it is overwhelming.
Lien, your comment really hit home. If I were to have a hysterectomy would I worry about another cancer elsewhere. The answer is probably yes. It is truly amazing to me how fears and anxiety can change your body. If I start thinking about the "what if's" on a certain part of my body it seems like those "symptoms" get stronger. Just like when I had shortness of breath, the more I thought about the "what if's" the worse it got. I ended up having numerous tests because it was so very bad. Then during a scan I had my vein burst under the pressure (yuck) and as I sat there with an icepack and mind focused on my arm I suddenly noticed I was breathing fine. That's when it hit me, I was causing the shortness of breath because of anxiety. It's almost like I just turned it off because after that I was breathing just fine. I really never even though of it being an anxiety attack because i always thought that sort of thing doesn't last weeks. But it really does.
I am still going to talk to my doc about the hysterectomy but am more comfortable waiting at least until my body has recovered from this mess. At least that is if my doc doesn't want me to have it sooner which I am thinking she won't. I am blessed to have such a wonderful Onc who is taking very good care of me and I know is going to watch me very closely.
Ladies... Thank you so very much for being a great support system. I have a wonderful family but tend to make sure I keep a happy, strong face for them. That makes it hard when I have these overwhelming feelings. I don't want to stress them out so I tend to keep it in. But then I come here and let it loose and it helps more than I can say.
I continue to pray for strength and courage for myself and the wonderful men and women on this site.
I put my trust in the Lord!
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Lovemyboy3
6/27/2013 - Diagnostic Mammogram due to a tiny lesion found.
6/27/13 - Diagnosed with Breast Cancer at age 33 :'(
07/11/2013 - Surgical needle biopsy
07/15/2013 - Path report results from biopsy - DCIS with micro invasion, Pagents disease - ER/PR- Her2+++
7/26/13 - PET Scan CLEAR!!
8/19/13 - B/L Mastectomy w/DIEP Flap reconstructive surgery. Nodes removed clear!! Stage 1A. Positive Margins remaining
8/23/13 - Finally HOME from the hospital
9/10/13 - All drains out. YEAH!!
9/6/13 - 2nd Surgery to try and remove remaining positive margins. Port placed.
9/11/13 - Path report shows all tissue samples are neg. Clear Margins!!
10/3/13 First TCH treatment - Horrible amount of side effects.
11/10/11 - First weekly Herceptin treatment.
10/11/13 - Late night ER visit due to Neutropenic fever - WBC at 0 in the hospital.
11/17/13 - Ultrasound on left breast due to pain. Benign findings: Oil cysts and possible Fat Neurosis from reconstructive surgery.
11/24/13 - Round 2 TCH treatment.
11/25/13 - Neulasta Shot given. Side effects minimal. Woo Hoo!
11/27/13 - Said goodbye to my hair. :-(
01/14 - Mammogram and Ultra sound - CLEAR!
01/23/14 - Last scheduled Chemo! WOO HOO!
03/04/14 - Phase 2&3 reconstructive surgery DONE!
03/06/14 - 2 days after surgery and 1st Herceptin only treatment. Minimal side affects.
03/14 - Began having pain and weakness in my feet and legs. Doc thinks it is delayed side affects of chemo possibly Neuropathy. Could even be the Herceptin (what ever it is I would appreciate it if it went away :/)
03/14 - A little over 8 wks post chemo and hair is about 1/2in long. :) Not a whole lot but its getting there. Eyebrows are taking there time but are coming in nicely.
04/14 - Where did my eyelashes go? :/
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
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