twosenuf99 -
Keep your head up. I know that you have a lot going around in your head while going through your
breast cancer treatment. As for the implants, if you are against it do not change your mind. Also, do not think of yourself as disfigured, but think of it as healed. What matters the most, your twins, will not see you that way. They will see you still as mom and love you unconditionally. You are doing all this for yourself and your family, just know that. Also, you came to the right place to vent. That is what these forums are for. As for curbing your anger and depression, different things work for different people. My best advice would be to find an activity to help take your mind off it as a getaway.
Good luck, and please keep us posted. I am new here as well and trying to be a sponge with all the info.