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Old 11-21-2014, 02:34 AM   #2
'lizbeth
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sunny San Diego
Posts: 2,214
Re: How do you cope with losing a child

Mom,

I haven't lost a child to cancer, but I have lost a child, and I have lost ladies that I grew very fond of to cancer. I have a bit of survivor guilt with one friend. She was a mother with teen twins and really, really did NOT want to leave them by dying of cancer. I remember how awful it was in the end, a very painful experience to see.

I found a group at my local church. I am actually meeting with these wonderful ladies later this morning. They are wonderfully encouraging and prayers for each other are abundant.

I believe it is okay to be angry with God. You are extremely hurt. He understands. I personally don't believe God is responsible for disease. I tend to believe things such as cancer come from a more negative source in life.

No, he did not answer your prayer. There might be many reasons for this. Perhaps your daughter's work here on earth was finished and it was time for her to go home, to a better place. She is not suffering anymore, and I don't believe she is really gone, she is just different, in a different place. Likely she is watching over you, her husband and daughter.

The pain and suffering that you feel shows that you truly loved her to the very deepest part of you.

No, it is not really fair that your DCIS was found early and your daughter's breast cancer so late. I suspect that she should have been receiving ultrasounds and MRIs. Much of my cancer didn't show up on the mammogram, nor the ultrasound. Two of 3 tumors were found by MRI. I had dense breast tissue and I was 44.

I'm very sorry for your loss, your pain, and your suffering.

I'm glad that you found us. Perhaps others can add their perspective and help you in this painful time.

Prayers and love, 'lizbeth
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