[Believe51]

Thanks Pals. Sometimes I have to remind myself that if this does not work, try, try again. I just get a little more fearful with each chemo regime, even though we have gained the time that we are searching for so far. The longer we live with breast cancer and the more time we gather, the more difficult I feel it shall be at 'that time'. Being the positive yet the realist person I am, I know that this will one day steal him from me. I do not want to make anyone sad or less hopeful by saying this.

Steph, I actually went into two sessions with the OncoMan and basically told him my inner voice says to avoid this drug; no particular reason just the feelings I have. OncoMan gave me his reasoning for trying the Ixempra and has sold me more than once. One thing that was pointed out to me a few times was 'uncharted waters' are not always stormy. Herceptin and Tykerb should have proven a much better result for Ed than they did; I could have Herceptin put back into the mix I just have to tell the doctor. This scares me a bit to try the 'supercharged' versions of these drugs, but they are still options also. Again, uncharted and maybe unfairly judged by me. Sometimes we must just jump in the water and hope we can swim. I know there are still other options and this gives us hope.

On a funny note, Ed and I are sitting in the room waiting for OncoMan and I can see him fidgeting in the seat. He always sits in my chair vs. the examining table while waiting. Marie jumps off the exam table and quickly starts to rub his back. I thought I was going to put him to sleep as I massaged his aches. He looks up at me with his eyes closed and tells me this is not right. "Marie, your back is out this week and here you stand rubbing mine." Again he goes into a trance. A few minutes goes by and he is looking down at the floor as he says, "Marie, we have to start doing each other." The doctor walked in but he had no idea that he was talking about the heated stone therapy that I do to myself. Boy were we embarrassed, seems like every time that the doctor comes in we are always misbehaving. I still cannot stop chuckling about this. Boy do I have my hands full.>>Believe51