[chekmark]

This is a really old one but still one of my favorites.

A lady walks into a plastic surgeons office and said that she needed a quote for a face lift, she just wants to remove a few wrinkles and look good. He said he would be happy to do it but it would cost $5000.00. She said I don't have that kind of money do you have anything cheaper. He looks at her and said well...... just recently we have invented a new device. No one will see it, we put it on the top of your head and your hair will hide it and everytime you start to sag you just turn this device and it will tighten everything up and it is only $500.00. She was ecstatic and said I will take it.

She gets the device and goes home and all is going well, when she would sag she would just turn this device and looked good again until one day she noticed these 2 pimple like bumps on her face. One on each cheek and they would not go away so she thought she better go back to her surgeon and have them looked at.

She goes back and explained to the surgeon that everything was going well until she developed these pimples. He took one look at her and chuckled. You ready for it.... He said maam, those aren't pimples, those are your nipples and if you pull that thing any tighter you are going to grow yourself a beard.


Hope no one is offended, I just love that one.